What does COMMUNITY mean to you?
I think in our generation, the meaning of this word has become lost in a lot of ways. Through technology and social media, our ideas of community have changed. It has broadened our "community" online, but what has happened to community in the "Real World."
After having a meal with a friend this past week, it was confirmed that this is not an issue I only face here in Nashville, but that several suffer within other places. And honestly, I think it is a time for reform. We have become a society who is very focused on our phones, social media accounts, and employment that the reality of community with your neighbors and those close to you has taken a beating.
I was a nomad (in all sense of the word) growing up. We moved around every 3-4 years and were always in different schools. However, I ALWAYS remember my parents making quick friends, developing meaningful relationships, having people over to the house or vice versa, and these relationships are still ongoing though we haven't lived in those cities for years. Those friendships have developed me to have family all over to visit. I continue to move a lot in my adult life and long for the friendships my parents had/have. But, for some reason, developing actual friendships is so much harder now.
When I moved to Nashville, I was excited to move to this town and start a life here with my husband. We became involved with our church and both of our jobs. When a year had gone by without developing friendships that were meaningful, I chalked it up to Alan's traveling schedule and my work schedule. Give it another year. As the time has passed, it seems as though being more involved in things and invitations extended does not get you far in these developments. Repeated invitations were either declined or some excuse would appear at the last minute. Is it me or is there a deeper issue? I tend to believe a deeper rooted issue.
My social media life, I would say, is very full. I have a lot of "friends" and keep up with them pretty well. I post pictures of my life and people like them. That's what friends do, right? We comment back and forth and keep up to date on each other's lives. It's all quite easy and we can text or message or e-mail someone when we need something. I would say it is a pretty fulfilling social life, in that aspect, and I am sure every one of you can say the same. BUT, when is the last time you dug deeper?
When was the last time you invited someone to do something? Dinner over, lunch, movie, play dates, etc? When was the last time you accepted an invitation from someone? When was the last time you invited someone new to your neighborhood/church/social circle to do something so you could get to know them better....instead of befriending them on Facebook? How long has it been since you invited someone to do something other than an event at church or small group, just to be able to dig deeper with that person? When was the last time you INVESTED in a person outside of the four walls of your house?
I feel like all of these things are being thrown by the wayside as we can "learn" a person through their social media accounts, which is often superficial. I believe the phenomena of social media has decreased our concern for those around us and decreased the relationships God intended us to have, as humans. We can so easily voice our opinions, learn just what we want about people, make and break plans without hearing a disappointed voice on the other end, and live a virtual life. I believe that we are lacking in what God meant most for us and are therefore shorting ourselves of the pleasures we can obtain from community.
Life is hard. It is even harder when you are facing it alone in a world full of people. These personal relationships that dig deeper are what we all need and what God meant for us to have. It's easy to go to church events or social events and see people, make simple conversations, and go home, but we are wired for deeper relationships. So many of us struggle from similar things yet feel isolated in this world because our superficial relationships make everyone else's life seem wonderful. We need to go through life with people where we can share the struggles and the good times.
So, this all being said, I challenge you. I challenge you to invite someone to get deeper. I challenge you to become vulnerable and take a chance on a deeper relationship with someone. I challenge you to invite a new family to dinner or sit down with someone you met at an event one on one. I challenge you to not use social media as your social event of the day, but make it be with a neighbor or someone from work or from some other event. Let's return this world to how it's supposed to be. Because we can all face the world when it is done in community.
Monday, March 7, 2016
So, when's the next one?
It's a question everyone asks.....after you get married, it's when's a baby coming? This question was always hard for me to hear because I didn't know the answer to that, or even if that was a possibility. Once we had the boys, I thought, I'm good. People would ask me if we wanted anymore and my thought was, "God has blessed us with these two and we are done." I was at piece with that. Now that the boys are getting older, a lot more people ask - "So, when is the next one?" "Are you wanting anymore?" "Aren't you going to try for a girl?" And, seeing a lot of my friends be pregnant and get pregnant and having babies, it has made it hard for me to answer.
I wish I could just say, well, we are trying and if it happens it happens. But, life isn't that easy for us to have a baby. I won't lie. There are times now that I long for another baby. It is a desire. But, it isn't that easy. How would we make this happen? Do another round of in vitro? We would have to start all over since we don't have any more embryos and that is a lot of money and a chance for multiple embryos that I am not okay with not using. There is the option to adopt, but we haven't truly felt led to do this. Foster care is an option, too, but we are unsure of this option, as well. Then, it is the thought of truly being finished with children. We have four and we are aging and should we just be content?
"When is the next one?" "You need a girl?" - pains to my heart and stinging takes place. Something I thought I was over once I had the boys. Infertility sucks. That's all I have to say. And even when you beat the odds and have a successful birth through infertility, it still isn't fun to know you are through. I still have secret hopes a miracle will happen like it does to others and we will be surprised with a miraculous pregnancy. But, the realistic person in me knows that isn't the case.
This all being said, be careful when asking people when they are going to have a child or when they will have the next. You don't know their struggles. Even if they do have children, there may have been hardships in that. So in all, be sensitive to one another. Especially if you know they have had hardships and just rejoice in what is present instead of focusing on what is ahead.
I wish I could just say, well, we are trying and if it happens it happens. But, life isn't that easy for us to have a baby. I won't lie. There are times now that I long for another baby. It is a desire. But, it isn't that easy. How would we make this happen? Do another round of in vitro? We would have to start all over since we don't have any more embryos and that is a lot of money and a chance for multiple embryos that I am not okay with not using. There is the option to adopt, but we haven't truly felt led to do this. Foster care is an option, too, but we are unsure of this option, as well. Then, it is the thought of truly being finished with children. We have four and we are aging and should we just be content?
"When is the next one?" "You need a girl?" - pains to my heart and stinging takes place. Something I thought I was over once I had the boys. Infertility sucks. That's all I have to say. And even when you beat the odds and have a successful birth through infertility, it still isn't fun to know you are through. I still have secret hopes a miracle will happen like it does to others and we will be surprised with a miraculous pregnancy. But, the realistic person in me knows that isn't the case.
This all being said, be careful when asking people when they are going to have a child or when they will have the next. You don't know their struggles. Even if they do have children, there may have been hardships in that. So in all, be sensitive to one another. Especially if you know they have had hardships and just rejoice in what is present instead of focusing on what is ahead.
Post Partum Depression - My Story
I don't know anyone who went through post partum depression, that I know of anyway. But then again, I have never asked someone if they are struggling or maybe even paid attention enough to pick up on it. It's kind of a cliché in our society. We see the mother's harm their children in our world and think "How could they do that?" But, we never truly talk about it and it is something that strong, good mothers don't suffer with, right? WRONG. This is my story.
When I went in for my 6 weeks post-partum visit, my doctor asked me how I was feeling. I burst into tears and said "I think I am having baby blues. I cry all of the time and don't feel like I am bonding with the babies." At this point the babies had only been home from the hospital 2 weeks. She looked at me and said, "It's over two weeks, so the blues are gone and post-partum depression is what you have." She then began to ask me if I had digested and truly had it "hit me" what all I had experienced with the pregnancy, birthing process, and babies in the NICU. Of course my answer was "No." I mean, I was a new mom with twins and a rigorous schedule....who has time to process! She told me it was going to hit me one day and it was going to be rough. After discussion, she put me on an anti-depressant and wanted to see me back in a month.
That was the beginning of my journey with post-partum depression. I thought of work, I cried; I thought of leaving the house, I cried; I wasn't as bonded with my babies as I thought I would be, I cried; they would cry and my heart wouldn't break like Alan's and my mom's, I felt like an awful mother, I cried. I was exhausted, not where or how I wanted to be as a mother, hormonal, and had yet to even process the past 3 months of my life. Overwhelmed and didn't know where to turn.
I started on the anti-depressant and waited the two weeks for it to kick in. I didn't like the side effects, though I was starting to feel better, so I quit the medication, thinking I could handle this. I'm a strong person and stubborn. I've got this. I had my follow up and talked with my OB that I thought I was doing better, still not having processed anything. So, life went on......I kept myself busy between baby duty, housework, work, etc. I was/am really good at smiling and doing the southern answer of "everything is going really well." Knowing deep in my heart that I was building up so many struggles.
Dr. Tony Harbin, the OB/GYN in Dalton and a close friend of mine, once said, "Every person has a coffee cup. Some are bigger than others, but life is like pouring coffee into that cup continuously. Eventually, that cup is going to overfill and you are going to have to have help." I tell this to patients all the time who feel bad that they are having hardships in life. And, it honestly brought me comfort.
Over the next few months, life got busier as I went back to work. I had a very hard time leaving the boys just knowing I wasn't there for them and my desire to be a stay at home mom wasn't a reality. It sunk me deeper in. Then, I had some hardships with people not understanding that I cannot/could not be on my best game every day. It's hard to put forth the energy of being chipper when honestly, all I wanted was to be in solitude. Being in a city with none of my family brought even bigger sorrows (even though my mom is always up here, I miss not having my dad and her down the road to just stop by). Because of my consumption with work prior to babies, I hadn't made any friends in Nashville, so being able to call up a friend and go out for a night wasn't an option. Then add on the stress of being in a blended family, family drama (which we all have), and the struggle of hardly seeing my husband due to travels and work schedules. (None of this is intended for complaining because I am truly blessed, but it is my story and it adds up.) Life seemed to be getting more difficult and more difficult.
About 5 months ago, things started becoming more than overwhelming, again. I was crying at the drop of a hat at about anything. I could fly off the handle at the smallest inconvenience or disagreement. It only grew worse and my usual social self became quite reclusive and I began becoming really shy. I wanted to be all alone, but I wanted to have people care and friends to interact with. I had no energy and no desire to do anything. I then, began having panic and anxiety attacks. I had never had these before in my life. It scared me. I was terrified and terrified this was happening to me. I couldn't even go into a church event without freaking out and having an anxiety attack and want to turn around and go home. I don't know who I had become. And, at about this time, since I had so many days alone at home, it hit me. Every emotion, physical symptom, stress, reality of twin pregnancy, bed rest, multiple complications from delivery and health complications of myself, NICU babies, twins, etc. hit me. I ran into this wall and I could no longer keep my head above water. I was literally drowning in emotions. All of the "processing" was happening. Hopeless and helpless.
My support system became very concerned and finally Alan put his foot down. He told me it was time to go back to the doctor and get some help. I resisted. I'm proud of myself for being a strong person who can handle anything. I didn't want to appear weak, unable to handle life, or even a complainer. But, we both knew it was deeper than that. And, I realized in moments of prayer and reflection that it is a bigger thing for me to get help then to keep drowning in my attempts to stay strong.
About this time, I had the opportunity to join a mom's group at church. Now, it wasn't easy, but I was excited. That is when one of my anxiety attacks hit and I literally said to the babies when walking in, what are we doing here? Let's go home. I had tears in my eyes and could hardly breathe walking in. Since when did I get social anxiety? This semester, the series Bible study is called a Beautiful Mess. And man, does God know how to talk directly to me when I am in need of Him most. It was speaking (and is continuing to speak) directly to me. It was like all of my thoughts and concerns were told and the authors wrote to them. A crack in the isolation. God knows what I need. Other women feel like me, some days hopeless, insufficient, unworthy, a mess. He seems to always lead me to the Bible and scripture or a Bible study I need, just at the right time.
I finally gave in and was seen by my family medicine doctor. She sees the boys and Alan and myself, so has been able to follow us over the past few years. She was encouraging to me. She reassured me that I am not weak but oh so strong to be able to parent twin boys and hold a full-time job. We talked and discussed and decided it was best at this point to start on a different anti-depressant without so many side effects. At this point, this is what I need to help and I am not ashamed.....or at least I hope I am not since I am sharing this with the world.
What I have realized is, it is okay to receive help. It is okay to ask and say I need you. It is okay to not be able to do or handle everything and every situation (I am remembering my post when I was pregnant regarding help during bed rest). We all need support and being a mother is no different. So, if you are struggling from post-partum depression, I encourage you to receive the help you need.
When I went in for my 6 weeks post-partum visit, my doctor asked me how I was feeling. I burst into tears and said "I think I am having baby blues. I cry all of the time and don't feel like I am bonding with the babies." At this point the babies had only been home from the hospital 2 weeks. She looked at me and said, "It's over two weeks, so the blues are gone and post-partum depression is what you have." She then began to ask me if I had digested and truly had it "hit me" what all I had experienced with the pregnancy, birthing process, and babies in the NICU. Of course my answer was "No." I mean, I was a new mom with twins and a rigorous schedule....who has time to process! She told me it was going to hit me one day and it was going to be rough. After discussion, she put me on an anti-depressant and wanted to see me back in a month.
That was the beginning of my journey with post-partum depression. I thought of work, I cried; I thought of leaving the house, I cried; I wasn't as bonded with my babies as I thought I would be, I cried; they would cry and my heart wouldn't break like Alan's and my mom's, I felt like an awful mother, I cried. I was exhausted, not where or how I wanted to be as a mother, hormonal, and had yet to even process the past 3 months of my life. Overwhelmed and didn't know where to turn.
I started on the anti-depressant and waited the two weeks for it to kick in. I didn't like the side effects, though I was starting to feel better, so I quit the medication, thinking I could handle this. I'm a strong person and stubborn. I've got this. I had my follow up and talked with my OB that I thought I was doing better, still not having processed anything. So, life went on......I kept myself busy between baby duty, housework, work, etc. I was/am really good at smiling and doing the southern answer of "everything is going really well." Knowing deep in my heart that I was building up so many struggles.
Dr. Tony Harbin, the OB/GYN in Dalton and a close friend of mine, once said, "Every person has a coffee cup. Some are bigger than others, but life is like pouring coffee into that cup continuously. Eventually, that cup is going to overfill and you are going to have to have help." I tell this to patients all the time who feel bad that they are having hardships in life. And, it honestly brought me comfort.
Over the next few months, life got busier as I went back to work. I had a very hard time leaving the boys just knowing I wasn't there for them and my desire to be a stay at home mom wasn't a reality. It sunk me deeper in. Then, I had some hardships with people not understanding that I cannot/could not be on my best game every day. It's hard to put forth the energy of being chipper when honestly, all I wanted was to be in solitude. Being in a city with none of my family brought even bigger sorrows (even though my mom is always up here, I miss not having my dad and her down the road to just stop by). Because of my consumption with work prior to babies, I hadn't made any friends in Nashville, so being able to call up a friend and go out for a night wasn't an option. Then add on the stress of being in a blended family, family drama (which we all have), and the struggle of hardly seeing my husband due to travels and work schedules. (None of this is intended for complaining because I am truly blessed, but it is my story and it adds up.) Life seemed to be getting more difficult and more difficult.
About 5 months ago, things started becoming more than overwhelming, again. I was crying at the drop of a hat at about anything. I could fly off the handle at the smallest inconvenience or disagreement. It only grew worse and my usual social self became quite reclusive and I began becoming really shy. I wanted to be all alone, but I wanted to have people care and friends to interact with. I had no energy and no desire to do anything. I then, began having panic and anxiety attacks. I had never had these before in my life. It scared me. I was terrified and terrified this was happening to me. I couldn't even go into a church event without freaking out and having an anxiety attack and want to turn around and go home. I don't know who I had become. And, at about this time, since I had so many days alone at home, it hit me. Every emotion, physical symptom, stress, reality of twin pregnancy, bed rest, multiple complications from delivery and health complications of myself, NICU babies, twins, etc. hit me. I ran into this wall and I could no longer keep my head above water. I was literally drowning in emotions. All of the "processing" was happening. Hopeless and helpless.
My support system became very concerned and finally Alan put his foot down. He told me it was time to go back to the doctor and get some help. I resisted. I'm proud of myself for being a strong person who can handle anything. I didn't want to appear weak, unable to handle life, or even a complainer. But, we both knew it was deeper than that. And, I realized in moments of prayer and reflection that it is a bigger thing for me to get help then to keep drowning in my attempts to stay strong.
About this time, I had the opportunity to join a mom's group at church. Now, it wasn't easy, but I was excited. That is when one of my anxiety attacks hit and I literally said to the babies when walking in, what are we doing here? Let's go home. I had tears in my eyes and could hardly breathe walking in. Since when did I get social anxiety? This semester, the series Bible study is called a Beautiful Mess. And man, does God know how to talk directly to me when I am in need of Him most. It was speaking (and is continuing to speak) directly to me. It was like all of my thoughts and concerns were told and the authors wrote to them. A crack in the isolation. God knows what I need. Other women feel like me, some days hopeless, insufficient, unworthy, a mess. He seems to always lead me to the Bible and scripture or a Bible study I need, just at the right time.
I finally gave in and was seen by my family medicine doctor. She sees the boys and Alan and myself, so has been able to follow us over the past few years. She was encouraging to me. She reassured me that I am not weak but oh so strong to be able to parent twin boys and hold a full-time job. We talked and discussed and decided it was best at this point to start on a different anti-depressant without so many side effects. At this point, this is what I need to help and I am not ashamed.....or at least I hope I am not since I am sharing this with the world.
What I have realized is, it is okay to receive help. It is okay to ask and say I need you. It is okay to not be able to do or handle everything and every situation (I am remembering my post when I was pregnant regarding help during bed rest). We all need support and being a mother is no different. So, if you are struggling from post-partum depression, I encourage you to receive the help you need.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
An Update - 18 months of Life
According to my "TimeHop," two years ago today, we found out we were having twins. It is crazy to think that it was only two years ago because it seems so long ago!! Now this journey has led us to two thriving eighteen month olds (in a few days) and it has been quite the ride!
A lot has happened since I last blogged. In the past 6 months, these boys have blossomed into two little men. As a family, we have had several changes and dealt with several stresses, but the New Year is bringing about a great new beginning!
Zachary has definitely come out of his shell and has become a very confident little man. At 12 and 13 months, his pediatrician was concerned that he was barely crawling, so she ordered him physical therapy. Those 3 months of physical therapy were the confidence boost he needed. He crawled faster than Ayden could walk within a few weeks and by the end was a walking champ. He has now "caught up" to his brother and surpassed him sometimes in his speed (especially if there is food involved!). He is a good 27 pounds, so that slows him down a little. His Lolli's nickname for him is "Chubbs." It is kinda funny, though, because he has now become a picky eater and eats less than Ayden. He has begun talking real words and loves to repeat what you say. He is really good at "Daddy," "Eat", "Lolli," "Bye, Bye," "Thank You," and "Uh-oh." He makes animal sounds and really does repeat whatever else you say to him. He talks from waking up until going to bed in whatever language he decides. He loves his "stinky feet" and for you to smell them. He can point out body parts, but anyone's belly button is his favorite. He loves to sing and dance and play the drums. He is definitely our musical child! He loves for people to laugh at him, so will do about anything to make someone smile or laugh. He has an angelic smile about him and will just melt you when he comes to give you a kiss and hug and smile. He is also our temper tantrum thrower. He was blessed (haha) with his Momma's temper…no doubt. It is a spitting image of what I have seen of me in home videos when I was his age. Somehow he has learned to stomp his feet and a good screaming fit can happen in a second. But, it can also turn off in a second, too. He is the more sensitive of the two, as well, just like his Momma, too. He is very independent in wanting to accomplish things himself, but loves to cuddle. He has become very attached to his blanket and over the past 2 days the plastic play spoon. He loves to feed you and "make" things in his kitchen. He loves to put puzzles together or fit the pieces of the train track or race track together. It is funny to watch him get onto Ayden for things and he is definitely the quiet leader of the two. Though he is not anything quiet. He is a Daddy's boy and will take him any time he can have him.
Ayden is just a spit fire. He is our "jackrabbit" as my mom calls him. If he is awake, he is moving. He has been walking since around 13 months and hasn't looked back since. He loves pushing things, whether it is a train, play car/train/jeep, box, chair, table, or anything in-between. If it is able to be moved, he is going to move it all over the house. He loves going up and down the stairs. He is, also, our climber of furniture. He has made it to 24.5 pounds, so gained 3 pounds in the past 3 months. He has become our eater, FINALLY! He loves about everything. Once he decided he was done with baby food/soft food, it was on! His favorite is chicken nuggets with bar-b-que sauce. He isn't talking as much as Zach, but can definitely get his point across. He does say "Zach", "Daddy," any sound an animal makes, "Bye bye," and occasionally I get a "Momma" from him! He is good at "uh-oh" too….probably a favorite. He is very into trains and cars. He is our little "supervisor" and will watch whatever you are doing to make sure it is done right, or you aren't out of line. If something is going on, he's involved! He can focus in on things pretty well! I think he takes after his Daddy on all of those things. He has a smile that is going to get him in trouble one day. He isn't as attached to his blanket, but is becoming that way because his brother is. It's funny watching him follow his big brother's lead on things. He is independent in his own way, but doesn't mind you helping him out every once in awhile. He loves to dance and has some popping moves. He is a big flirt and it is hilarious in stores to watch him just out of the blue wave, give his charming smile and "talk" to women/girls. He loves his Momma and is definitely a Momma's boy. He loves the outdoors and probably would be out there all of the time if we let him, even in the cold. He loves the water, as well, and probably would stay in a bath for hours if I let him (along with his brother). He is our adventurer.
We have finally completed building our new home and have started settling into it. It was quite the hassle and headache towards the end, and middle, well really the whole thing, but we are happy to be in a home we can call our own with enough room for the boys to grow and play. In our last home we were all on top of each other, literally, so it is nice for everyone to have their own space. The whole building process is a venture. We are still working to have everything on the "list" completed that needs to be fixed. Alan and I did well during the building process. They say if you can build a house together you can outlast anything. We never had a disagreement with each other about the house, but sure did get mad together at the builders. It is definitely an extra stress, but we are happy with what we have and are truly blessed! The boys love that our backyard has cows come up to it and they will run to the window or if it's warm enough out the backdoor to find the cows every morning. They will even "moo" at them. We built the house with intentions of people coming and visiting, so if you are wanting to visit Nashville, let us know and you have a place to stay!
We are extremely happy that my mom continues to come and watch the boys while I work. She is extremely glad she has her own bedroom and doesn't have to be shoved into Alan's office any longer! They love her more than life itself and it is so fun and joyous to watch their faces light up when she enters in the room. Lolli trumps everyone in this house. She is even our go to FaceTime call to calm any screaming baby. She is truly a blessing in our lives and we thank her and my Dad all of the time for sacrificing for her to do this for us.
We are excited about this new year and the fact we aren't starting off with a lot of projects ahead. It seems we are always going and we decided this year was going to be the year to be present in each day and enjoy it. So, hopefully not as much traveling (though Alan still will for work and we can't live without a beach vacation or two!) or building a home or IVF or having a baby or moving. That we know of anyway! We will be settling in our new home and continuing to enjoy the moments of the boys growing. They are growing way too fast and I am ready for it to slow down. I just cherish the times they both crawl in my lap and let me hold them. Though that only lasts for a few minutes now instead of hours on end, I cherish it more and more.
We are truly blessed by God over this past year in all things. We look forward to the blessings of this new year.
A lot has happened since I last blogged. In the past 6 months, these boys have blossomed into two little men. As a family, we have had several changes and dealt with several stresses, but the New Year is bringing about a great new beginning!
Zachary has definitely come out of his shell and has become a very confident little man. At 12 and 13 months, his pediatrician was concerned that he was barely crawling, so she ordered him physical therapy. Those 3 months of physical therapy were the confidence boost he needed. He crawled faster than Ayden could walk within a few weeks and by the end was a walking champ. He has now "caught up" to his brother and surpassed him sometimes in his speed (especially if there is food involved!). He is a good 27 pounds, so that slows him down a little. His Lolli's nickname for him is "Chubbs." It is kinda funny, though, because he has now become a picky eater and eats less than Ayden. He has begun talking real words and loves to repeat what you say. He is really good at "Daddy," "Eat", "Lolli," "Bye, Bye," "Thank You," and "Uh-oh." He makes animal sounds and really does repeat whatever else you say to him. He talks from waking up until going to bed in whatever language he decides. He loves his "stinky feet" and for you to smell them. He can point out body parts, but anyone's belly button is his favorite. He loves to sing and dance and play the drums. He is definitely our musical child! He loves for people to laugh at him, so will do about anything to make someone smile or laugh. He has an angelic smile about him and will just melt you when he comes to give you a kiss and hug and smile. He is also our temper tantrum thrower. He was blessed (haha) with his Momma's temper…no doubt. It is a spitting image of what I have seen of me in home videos when I was his age. Somehow he has learned to stomp his feet and a good screaming fit can happen in a second. But, it can also turn off in a second, too. He is the more sensitive of the two, as well, just like his Momma, too. He is very independent in wanting to accomplish things himself, but loves to cuddle. He has become very attached to his blanket and over the past 2 days the plastic play spoon. He loves to feed you and "make" things in his kitchen. He loves to put puzzles together or fit the pieces of the train track or race track together. It is funny to watch him get onto Ayden for things and he is definitely the quiet leader of the two. Though he is not anything quiet. He is a Daddy's boy and will take him any time he can have him.
Ayden is just a spit fire. He is our "jackrabbit" as my mom calls him. If he is awake, he is moving. He has been walking since around 13 months and hasn't looked back since. He loves pushing things, whether it is a train, play car/train/jeep, box, chair, table, or anything in-between. If it is able to be moved, he is going to move it all over the house. He loves going up and down the stairs. He is, also, our climber of furniture. He has made it to 24.5 pounds, so gained 3 pounds in the past 3 months. He has become our eater, FINALLY! He loves about everything. Once he decided he was done with baby food/soft food, it was on! His favorite is chicken nuggets with bar-b-que sauce. He isn't talking as much as Zach, but can definitely get his point across. He does say "Zach", "Daddy," any sound an animal makes, "Bye bye," and occasionally I get a "Momma" from him! He is good at "uh-oh" too….probably a favorite. He is very into trains and cars. He is our little "supervisor" and will watch whatever you are doing to make sure it is done right, or you aren't out of line. If something is going on, he's involved! He can focus in on things pretty well! I think he takes after his Daddy on all of those things. He has a smile that is going to get him in trouble one day. He isn't as attached to his blanket, but is becoming that way because his brother is. It's funny watching him follow his big brother's lead on things. He is independent in his own way, but doesn't mind you helping him out every once in awhile. He loves to dance and has some popping moves. He is a big flirt and it is hilarious in stores to watch him just out of the blue wave, give his charming smile and "talk" to women/girls. He loves his Momma and is definitely a Momma's boy. He loves the outdoors and probably would be out there all of the time if we let him, even in the cold. He loves the water, as well, and probably would stay in a bath for hours if I let him (along with his brother). He is our adventurer.
We have finally completed building our new home and have started settling into it. It was quite the hassle and headache towards the end, and middle, well really the whole thing, but we are happy to be in a home we can call our own with enough room for the boys to grow and play. In our last home we were all on top of each other, literally, so it is nice for everyone to have their own space. The whole building process is a venture. We are still working to have everything on the "list" completed that needs to be fixed. Alan and I did well during the building process. They say if you can build a house together you can outlast anything. We never had a disagreement with each other about the house, but sure did get mad together at the builders. It is definitely an extra stress, but we are happy with what we have and are truly blessed! The boys love that our backyard has cows come up to it and they will run to the window or if it's warm enough out the backdoor to find the cows every morning. They will even "moo" at them. We built the house with intentions of people coming and visiting, so if you are wanting to visit Nashville, let us know and you have a place to stay!
We are extremely happy that my mom continues to come and watch the boys while I work. She is extremely glad she has her own bedroom and doesn't have to be shoved into Alan's office any longer! They love her more than life itself and it is so fun and joyous to watch their faces light up when she enters in the room. Lolli trumps everyone in this house. She is even our go to FaceTime call to calm any screaming baby. She is truly a blessing in our lives and we thank her and my Dad all of the time for sacrificing for her to do this for us.
We are excited about this new year and the fact we aren't starting off with a lot of projects ahead. It seems we are always going and we decided this year was going to be the year to be present in each day and enjoy it. So, hopefully not as much traveling (though Alan still will for work and we can't live without a beach vacation or two!) or building a home or IVF or having a baby or moving. That we know of anyway! We will be settling in our new home and continuing to enjoy the moments of the boys growing. They are growing way too fast and I am ready for it to slow down. I just cherish the times they both crawl in my lap and let me hold them. Though that only lasts for a few minutes now instead of hours on end, I cherish it more and more.
We are truly blessed by God over this past year in all things. We look forward to the blessings of this new year.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Reflections
Over the past few days, I've done a lot of reflecting on this past year. Today, specifically has hit me in my heart. A year ago today, Alan and I were in the hospital room listening to praise music, reading a devotional and of course, pumping. Alan went to go take my milk up to the NICU, we would both go up when it was the mark for us being able to visit the babies. When he returned, his face was gray and our pleasant morning did an 180 degree turn before our eyes. It was this morning, a year ago, Zachary stopped breathing twice and had to be bagged and have several tests performed on him. It was this day, a year ago, that my parents' church stopped in the middle of the benediction and prayed for my son. Many of your prayed. It was this day, a year ago, that miracles of healing took place. His outcome could have been much worse. He could've been placed on a ventilator and spent several months in the NICU, like many babies we saw, but he was healed. He had a brain bleed that was of the 1st grade, not a 2nd or 3rd or even more detrimental 4th. God performed a miracle (one of many) last year on this day. There was a lot of fear on this day last year, but God carried us through. And through this past year, God has carried us through.
I've reflected on a life with twins and how it is different then with a singleton. Some differences are quite humorous, some challenging, and some bittersweet. There are the usual common things - twice the diapers, at once; twice the food; twice the clothes; twice the toys; and twice the cribs/pack'n'plays. I think the hardest part of these past 12 months is the month they spent in the NICU. I have had tears thinking back to those days. I am a picture fanatic (as you all know) and as I have been going through pictures these past few weeks, it saddens me that I don't have many pictures of the day they were born (other than in the OR). It makes me cry thinking back how I didn't get to hold them until they were a week old and didn't get to just "be their mom" for those first few weeks. I want to go back and change that so badly. But, I will continue to say even to this day that we are grateful for the NICU. Grateful for their care for our boys and for the awesome schedule they were on when they returned home. That has been the key to our sanity! A schedule that has kept them doing the same thing at the same time. There's something about having two babies lie on your chest sleeping. Man how I miss those days! There's something about the conversations they have begun to have and watch them laugh at each other. Priceless. It is always humorous to me to the stares in the store and that I know going in that I will be asked at least 5 times if they are twins. It may get old, but it never stops being funny to me. You get a lot of attention with twins. So, there is no quick shopping trip - therefore, I have slowly learned going near or at nap time is a sure "no, no" because these people will wake up your sleeping children "just to get a peak" at your twins. Then, as we have started, the jealousy of each other when one is getting held or having attention and the other isn't. Double the temper tantrums has begun, which sometimes are just humorous, and are quickly nipped in the butt. I think it is easier to have two at the same age. I'm not chasing after one and trying to make it "not wake the baby." But, the thing that is bittersweet is that I have two babies that are growing up quickly and I know they are my only babies. It is hard knowing they don't snuggle as much and when I get those moments of them lying on my chest, I savor it….even if it is them pushing each other out of the way or trying to take over my whole chest.
I have learned over the past year that life passes by way too fast, and it is so finite. It has made me realize even more how important time with those you love is and how important it is to make time for those you love. It has shown me true friendship and how much love we have for Alan and myself, along with these boys. We have developed new friendships and stronger relationships that just are overwhelming in love.
I really wouldn't change this last year for the world. It is amazing how much babies grow and develop! Zachary and Ayden continue to amaze us and I believe they have just blossomed like crazy over the past few weeks. Zachary is actually moving around when he crawls and we just are amazed! AND, last night he actually pulled up twice without assistance! We were in tears so excited, and so was he! Ayden is crawling and into EVERYTHING. He has stood without holding onto anything a few times, as well. Ayden has begun to actually babble now, instead of just growling at us! It is stinkin' adorable. Zachary says "dog", "Dada", and "Lolli." Yea, no "Momma" yet. Their personalities are so different but they are both so hilarious. Zachary is definitely the clown of the two and loves to make people laugh. Ayden is a definite flirt! They are 5 times their birth weight. Zach is 23 lbs 3 oz and Ayden 20 lbs 1 oz and 30 inches and 29 inches, respectively. Still undergrowth of a 1 year old, but getting there! Ayden is still picky with food and will be eating baby food until he is 14, Zach will eat pretty much anything. They may be drinking bottles until then, too.
It is amazing all that God has done with them in this past year and how much they have grown and developed. We are grateful for them and the impact they have had on our extended family relationships and relationship with God. We are looking forward to this coming year!
I've reflected on a life with twins and how it is different then with a singleton. Some differences are quite humorous, some challenging, and some bittersweet. There are the usual common things - twice the diapers, at once; twice the food; twice the clothes; twice the toys; and twice the cribs/pack'n'plays. I think the hardest part of these past 12 months is the month they spent in the NICU. I have had tears thinking back to those days. I am a picture fanatic (as you all know) and as I have been going through pictures these past few weeks, it saddens me that I don't have many pictures of the day they were born (other than in the OR). It makes me cry thinking back how I didn't get to hold them until they were a week old and didn't get to just "be their mom" for those first few weeks. I want to go back and change that so badly. But, I will continue to say even to this day that we are grateful for the NICU. Grateful for their care for our boys and for the awesome schedule they were on when they returned home. That has been the key to our sanity! A schedule that has kept them doing the same thing at the same time. There's something about having two babies lie on your chest sleeping. Man how I miss those days! There's something about the conversations they have begun to have and watch them laugh at each other. Priceless. It is always humorous to me to the stares in the store and that I know going in that I will be asked at least 5 times if they are twins. It may get old, but it never stops being funny to me. You get a lot of attention with twins. So, there is no quick shopping trip - therefore, I have slowly learned going near or at nap time is a sure "no, no" because these people will wake up your sleeping children "just to get a peak" at your twins. Then, as we have started, the jealousy of each other when one is getting held or having attention and the other isn't. Double the temper tantrums has begun, which sometimes are just humorous, and are quickly nipped in the butt. I think it is easier to have two at the same age. I'm not chasing after one and trying to make it "not wake the baby." But, the thing that is bittersweet is that I have two babies that are growing up quickly and I know they are my only babies. It is hard knowing they don't snuggle as much and when I get those moments of them lying on my chest, I savor it….even if it is them pushing each other out of the way or trying to take over my whole chest.
I have learned over the past year that life passes by way too fast, and it is so finite. It has made me realize even more how important time with those you love is and how important it is to make time for those you love. It has shown me true friendship and how much love we have for Alan and myself, along with these boys. We have developed new friendships and stronger relationships that just are overwhelming in love.
I really wouldn't change this last year for the world. It is amazing how much babies grow and develop! Zachary and Ayden continue to amaze us and I believe they have just blossomed like crazy over the past few weeks. Zachary is actually moving around when he crawls and we just are amazed! AND, last night he actually pulled up twice without assistance! We were in tears so excited, and so was he! Ayden is crawling and into EVERYTHING. He has stood without holding onto anything a few times, as well. Ayden has begun to actually babble now, instead of just growling at us! It is stinkin' adorable. Zachary says "dog", "Dada", and "Lolli." Yea, no "Momma" yet. Their personalities are so different but they are both so hilarious. Zachary is definitely the clown of the two and loves to make people laugh. Ayden is a definite flirt! They are 5 times their birth weight. Zach is 23 lbs 3 oz and Ayden 20 lbs 1 oz and 30 inches and 29 inches, respectively. Still undergrowth of a 1 year old, but getting there! Ayden is still picky with food and will be eating baby food until he is 14, Zach will eat pretty much anything. They may be drinking bottles until then, too.
It is amazing all that God has done with them in this past year and how much they have grown and developed. We are grateful for them and the impact they have had on our extended family relationships and relationship with God. We are looking forward to this coming year!
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
A Letter to my Granny
Granny,
It's been 23 years today. Twenty-three years since I sat beside you, saw your face, and held your hand. I can't believe it, because it just seems like yesterday. I can recall every minute of that day in my head and I often relive it over and over. I remember seeing your last moments and running out to my bike riding around the yard screaming at God to "heal my Granny." And "please don't let her go." Asking Him, "Why???" But I know why and He did heal you. You are healed and praising His name every second of every day. But still, I miss you.
You were an amazing woman. Someone I still admire and still consider my hero. Your love for Jesus still radiates in my mind and I can just see you showing Jesus to people through your actions. You praising Him while you were sick and having me read the Bible to you every night has had such an impact on my life. I do believe, that if it wasn't for you and your constant heart for God, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. Your love for people is something I strive for. I strive to treat everyone like you did, as God's prince and princess. To make each and every person feel special. Thank you for teaching me that. Thank you for loving people like you loved Jesus and Jesus loved you. Thank you for caring about the important stuff and convicting me of the same, people's hearts. Your smile and laugh were contagious, something you have passed down to your daughter and granddaughters. And as my Momma says, she still sees your temper in me…I guess I got it honest.
A lot has happened this past year. And honestly, I have really wished you were here to witness it all. Three of your four great grandsons were born. I think you would love them more than you loved Sally and me. They would love you too. They even growl like Sally did with you, so it would've been a perfect match! They would've loved your snuggles, floor time play, singing and dancing, constant praise, and love and I am sure we would want for nothing and have houses piled with the cutest outfits and toys because you would be spoiling them rotten, more than they already are. But, I want you to know, you raised a daughter who has become the best Lolli that they could have. She is a lot like you. She is on the floor playing with these four boys, even when she doesn't feel good. I think she gets that stamina and love from you. She walks in the room and the look on the boys' faces is the same as what Sally and I had when you walked into the room. We knew that love and excitement and fun was here. So, thank you, Granny, for raising my Momma to be like you. You would be so proud of her. She has grown to be a woman of God that loves the unloveable and loves her family to almost a fault. These boys are her world, just like your grandchildren were your's.
I think you would be proud of Sally and me, too. Sally now brushes her hair without having to be told (at least I think so!) and she has become the greatest mom to her boys. It's surprising that crazy Sally has turned out to be such a wonderful woman. She still has that same joy and silliness that she had when you were around. And her boys knew how to make animal sounds and play with sticks before they even talked. But, you would be proud of her. A college degree, a God-fearing husband, and a love for Jesus that you prayed over us.
But, I still miss you. I still think of how I wish you had been here when I got married, found out I was pregnant, and at the hospital when the boys were born. I think of how I would've had to fight you out of spending the night in the NICU every night….and maybe even getting onto a nurse or two that upset me. I wish that you could've watched them come home, helped me with questions I had, and even spent a few weeks with Mom and me on bed rest. Oh the conversations we could've had! I wish you were here for birthday parties….we would have a lot more cake that way! And make sure everyone was celebrated. I hope we continue on your tradition. Making each and every child feel special for every occasion, just like you did. But, I think you are here. In spirit, you are here for all of it, I know. I miss your hugs, your talks, and you just being my best friend.
You were always someone I could turn to and knew that you would be there for me no matter, but I also knew that I could have to go get a switch out of the back yard if need be, as well. There are moments, I won't lie, that I cry and just ask for you to come back and be here. You are missed more than you know, and it is all aspects of you that are remembered.
As the years go by, it doesn't get any easier not having you here. But, the thing that keeps us all going is that we know that we will be reunited again. It will be a marvelous day on more than one accord. We anticipate the day we see Jesus and we see you. So, until that day, know we miss you, Granny. We all miss you. We love you and think of you often and how life would be with you here. Thank you for being such an example to me and everyone around you. I hope I make you proud.
Forever love you,
Lauren
It's been 23 years today. Twenty-three years since I sat beside you, saw your face, and held your hand. I can't believe it, because it just seems like yesterday. I can recall every minute of that day in my head and I often relive it over and over. I remember seeing your last moments and running out to my bike riding around the yard screaming at God to "heal my Granny." And "please don't let her go." Asking Him, "Why???" But I know why and He did heal you. You are healed and praising His name every second of every day. But still, I miss you.
You were an amazing woman. Someone I still admire and still consider my hero. Your love for Jesus still radiates in my mind and I can just see you showing Jesus to people through your actions. You praising Him while you were sick and having me read the Bible to you every night has had such an impact on my life. I do believe, that if it wasn't for you and your constant heart for God, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. Your love for people is something I strive for. I strive to treat everyone like you did, as God's prince and princess. To make each and every person feel special. Thank you for teaching me that. Thank you for loving people like you loved Jesus and Jesus loved you. Thank you for caring about the important stuff and convicting me of the same, people's hearts. Your smile and laugh were contagious, something you have passed down to your daughter and granddaughters. And as my Momma says, she still sees your temper in me…I guess I got it honest.
A lot has happened this past year. And honestly, I have really wished you were here to witness it all. Three of your four great grandsons were born. I think you would love them more than you loved Sally and me. They would love you too. They even growl like Sally did with you, so it would've been a perfect match! They would've loved your snuggles, floor time play, singing and dancing, constant praise, and love and I am sure we would want for nothing and have houses piled with the cutest outfits and toys because you would be spoiling them rotten, more than they already are. But, I want you to know, you raised a daughter who has become the best Lolli that they could have. She is a lot like you. She is on the floor playing with these four boys, even when she doesn't feel good. I think she gets that stamina and love from you. She walks in the room and the look on the boys' faces is the same as what Sally and I had when you walked into the room. We knew that love and excitement and fun was here. So, thank you, Granny, for raising my Momma to be like you. You would be so proud of her. She has grown to be a woman of God that loves the unloveable and loves her family to almost a fault. These boys are her world, just like your grandchildren were your's.
I think you would be proud of Sally and me, too. Sally now brushes her hair without having to be told (at least I think so!) and she has become the greatest mom to her boys. It's surprising that crazy Sally has turned out to be such a wonderful woman. She still has that same joy and silliness that she had when you were around. And her boys knew how to make animal sounds and play with sticks before they even talked. But, you would be proud of her. A college degree, a God-fearing husband, and a love for Jesus that you prayed over us.
But, I still miss you. I still think of how I wish you had been here when I got married, found out I was pregnant, and at the hospital when the boys were born. I think of how I would've had to fight you out of spending the night in the NICU every night….and maybe even getting onto a nurse or two that upset me. I wish that you could've watched them come home, helped me with questions I had, and even spent a few weeks with Mom and me on bed rest. Oh the conversations we could've had! I wish you were here for birthday parties….we would have a lot more cake that way! And make sure everyone was celebrated. I hope we continue on your tradition. Making each and every child feel special for every occasion, just like you did. But, I think you are here. In spirit, you are here for all of it, I know. I miss your hugs, your talks, and you just being my best friend.
You were always someone I could turn to and knew that you would be there for me no matter, but I also knew that I could have to go get a switch out of the back yard if need be, as well. There are moments, I won't lie, that I cry and just ask for you to come back and be here. You are missed more than you know, and it is all aspects of you that are remembered.
As the years go by, it doesn't get any easier not having you here. But, the thing that keeps us all going is that we know that we will be reunited again. It will be a marvelous day on more than one accord. We anticipate the day we see Jesus and we see you. So, until that day, know we miss you, Granny. We all miss you. We love you and think of you often and how life would be with you here. Thank you for being such an example to me and everyone around you. I hope I make you proud.
Forever love you,
Lauren
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Identity to 11 months
Eleven months is coming upon us, and quickly. It is hard to believe that last year, at this time, I was on strict bed rest. And I am almost wishing I was back at that spot, just to get a good night's rest again! Haha. Also , it is a period of transition. I am reflecting over the past few weeks on my identity.
Some people have an instant "mom" identity when they have babies born. I was a bit different. I think that some of that had to do with the babies being in the NICU and some with my post-partum depression I dealt with. I feel like my attachment with my boys didn't come instantaneously and really has taken a long time to happen. I always thought that when I had babies I would be so selfish in holding them and not letting anyone get that extra second, but yet I have been the first to let them be held. It wasn't until I went back to work this second time that I became super attached to these kiddos. I'm not sure if it was the fact that the boys have gotten super clingy to me, or what. But my identity hasn't been that of a pure "mom" since they have been born. I finally have that identity. I finally have that role deep into me, and though people told me it would get easier going to work, it has become immeasurably hard to leave them each morning. My "mom" title has hit and hit hard and the "physician assistant" title has taken a far third or fourth running. Even today, when I heard from our nanny that Ayden had been crying inconsolably for some time, I broke as a Mom. It used to not be so heart-breaking to me, which I hate to say, but it's changed and now my heart breaks every time I hear something sad going on.
So, as I pick up writing this, again, it is the turn of being 11 months old. I got my "Facebook history" notification that one year ago today, I was admitted to the hospital for preterm labor. It is crazy to think about this time a year ago. So much fear and anxiety surrounding these babies and their health. It is amazing what has come over the past year. These kids are something else.
Zachary is getting stronger by the day. He actually pulled himself up from a sitting position to standing this past weekend….I cried. He, also, has stopped pitching a full out temper tantrum when he goes to his stomach (and even puts himself in that position!). He moved a little bit "crawling" the other day with Alan….again, I cried. It is amazing how strong he is becoming as we work with him, daily. He loves to stand up and be like his brother. He is so proud of himself. He even knows how to turn around as he is sitting and scoot on his bottom. He is still the talker of the two. Babbles all day and night and still loves to make everyone laugh. He has been teething like crazy the past two weeks, chewing on EVERYTHING, but we have yet to see a tooth. Poor little buddy. He loves eating "table" food, even without teeth he does a pretty good job of getting it down. He is funny because he loves to pick out clothes. He gets so excited when I take him to his closet and he grabs the outfit he wants with the day and just grins.
Ayden is on the move and fast. He went from limited crawling last month to full force. He is into EVERYTHING. He loves to stand up on everything and pull up on everything. He has learned he can crawl out of the living room and that the kitchen and formal dining room have lots of goodies. He knows what he can and can't get into. He has, also, learned the meaning of the word "No" this past week and is a really good pouter when he is told it! I even experienced his first meltdown over it! He has been teething, as well, and this morning had his third tooth break through. He is still picky in eating, loves his fruit and veggies, but is very picky on consistency. He loves to growl at people and it is his form of communication. He has no bubble (like his Momma) and crawls all over his brother (much to Zach's chagrin) and everyone else. He, also, had his first busted lip this month…..mean bath tubs when you are trying to dance and get dried off.
They both have contagious grins and love to smile at everyone. They are both social babies and love being around people. They are loving the water and outside. I am hoping this continue to transfers to the love of the beach! They both are developing so quickly and it is just amazing to sit and watch them sleep and be able to hold them, when they let you. Time passes by way too quickly and I am trying to truly soak in every moment. I know when I blink, it will be their first birthday. Having these twins is truly a blessing. They have been the best gift that I have received. We just look forward to what God has in store for us here forward.
Some people have an instant "mom" identity when they have babies born. I was a bit different. I think that some of that had to do with the babies being in the NICU and some with my post-partum depression I dealt with. I feel like my attachment with my boys didn't come instantaneously and really has taken a long time to happen. I always thought that when I had babies I would be so selfish in holding them and not letting anyone get that extra second, but yet I have been the first to let them be held. It wasn't until I went back to work this second time that I became super attached to these kiddos. I'm not sure if it was the fact that the boys have gotten super clingy to me, or what. But my identity hasn't been that of a pure "mom" since they have been born. I finally have that identity. I finally have that role deep into me, and though people told me it would get easier going to work, it has become immeasurably hard to leave them each morning. My "mom" title has hit and hit hard and the "physician assistant" title has taken a far third or fourth running. Even today, when I heard from our nanny that Ayden had been crying inconsolably for some time, I broke as a Mom. It used to not be so heart-breaking to me, which I hate to say, but it's changed and now my heart breaks every time I hear something sad going on.
So, as I pick up writing this, again, it is the turn of being 11 months old. I got my "Facebook history" notification that one year ago today, I was admitted to the hospital for preterm labor. It is crazy to think about this time a year ago. So much fear and anxiety surrounding these babies and their health. It is amazing what has come over the past year. These kids are something else.
Zachary is getting stronger by the day. He actually pulled himself up from a sitting position to standing this past weekend….I cried. He, also, has stopped pitching a full out temper tantrum when he goes to his stomach (and even puts himself in that position!). He moved a little bit "crawling" the other day with Alan….again, I cried. It is amazing how strong he is becoming as we work with him, daily. He loves to stand up and be like his brother. He is so proud of himself. He even knows how to turn around as he is sitting and scoot on his bottom. He is still the talker of the two. Babbles all day and night and still loves to make everyone laugh. He has been teething like crazy the past two weeks, chewing on EVERYTHING, but we have yet to see a tooth. Poor little buddy. He loves eating "table" food, even without teeth he does a pretty good job of getting it down. He is funny because he loves to pick out clothes. He gets so excited when I take him to his closet and he grabs the outfit he wants with the day and just grins.
Ayden is on the move and fast. He went from limited crawling last month to full force. He is into EVERYTHING. He loves to stand up on everything and pull up on everything. He has learned he can crawl out of the living room and that the kitchen and formal dining room have lots of goodies. He knows what he can and can't get into. He has, also, learned the meaning of the word "No" this past week and is a really good pouter when he is told it! I even experienced his first meltdown over it! He has been teething, as well, and this morning had his third tooth break through. He is still picky in eating, loves his fruit and veggies, but is very picky on consistency. He loves to growl at people and it is his form of communication. He has no bubble (like his Momma) and crawls all over his brother (much to Zach's chagrin) and everyone else. He, also, had his first busted lip this month…..mean bath tubs when you are trying to dance and get dried off.
They both have contagious grins and love to smile at everyone. They are both social babies and love being around people. They are loving the water and outside. I am hoping this continue to transfers to the love of the beach! They both are developing so quickly and it is just amazing to sit and watch them sleep and be able to hold them, when they let you. Time passes by way too quickly and I am trying to truly soak in every moment. I know when I blink, it will be their first birthday. Having these twins is truly a blessing. They have been the best gift that I have received. We just look forward to what God has in store for us here forward.
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