Transitioning

So, the first big day came for me to go to the doctor and make sure my medicines were working. It was my "big day" of a complete physical, blood work, and ultrasounds. On top of that, they did a "trial embryo" transfer to see exactly how they needed to go about the real thing. I can say, I was nervous. And EMOTIONAL. I didn't know whether it was just me or my wonderful Lupron injections that had me crying.....but for the past 3 days I had spilt into tears on several occasions about the most minute things.......bawling over the fact my furniture was dusty, for example. But I digress.....there are so many people and different types of situations that sat in those waiting rooms with me and I got to hear some of their stories, and I cried and I prayed. I want every single one of us to come out pregnant.
      The poking and prodding wasn't too bad. I got the results of my blood work and ultrasound by the end of the day and it was just as we wanted (and were hoping), I am suppressed! Which is exciting, because it means we are on to the next step, but scary none-the-less because it means we are on to the next step! What is the next step you may ask? Well, of course it would be no more than adding in an injection. Now, as Alan would tell you , I should be excited because I got the needle that I wanted, haha. Oh the small things in this process that we get excited about! Actually, when he had woken up from his procedure, after he found out we had what we needed, his words were....and you have the needle you want! I think he is more excited about my injection device than me!
     So, we started Lupron in my abdomen every morning and our FSH injection in my abdomen every night. My poor little abdomen is full of needle marks, but it is worth it. We do this injection for 4 days and I return to the doctor for more blood work and an ultrasound. The FSH is to stimulate my ovaries to make multiple eggs. So, in 5 days I return to see if it is doing its job and they will adjust my doses accordingly. Then 2 days after that I return again for the same thing and 2 days after that. If they are well stimulated, well....that means next week we get to retrieve and implant! It has gone by really fast!
     Also, since I began my FSH injection, it means I am no longer allowed to exercise or lift greater than 10 pounds! Woohoo! Also, I have to eat like I am pregnant.....so no more sushi or glasses of wine. So, it is just hitting us harder and harder each transition state. It is kinda neat. And besides my labile emotions, everything is going smoothly so far! It is amazing how God has made me so calm through this and truly able to trust Him. He has answered prayer after prayer. I know that without Him, I would not be able to go through this. What an awesome God we serve.
    So, I will keep you posted as the transition continues....only a few steps left!

Step one down

   So step one, birth control, is officially over! I think Alan is more excited about this because he is hoping my emotionally liable state was due to the birth control. I was told I lost my "processing" trait and went straight to emotion. We hope that is over, anyway! It went REALLY fast. Actually, ALL of this is going by super fast! Alan and I were looking at the calendar tonight and realized in two weeks we will possible be retrieving my eggs. Two weeks!!

       So, I've been reading a lot of infertility blogs lately that friends have sent me. It is so encouraging to read other people's journeys and see their faith in God throughout. The one thing I have seen missing from these blogs is the process of IVF. So, I am kinda glad I am including the specifics as I blog because I had no idea what to expect!

      So, I am continuing on my Lupron shots still. I have come to have an allergic reaction to the injections. They itch really badly and turn red for about 30 minutes and it goes away. Of course I called to make sure this was okay, and it is. 

      I go Friday for my trial embryo transfer and suppression check. What this entails is an ultrasound to make sure I am not producing anything (hence the birth control and Lupron suppressing it all) and make sure my ovaries are ready to be stimulated for the next 2 weeks. They will also do all the ground work for going in as they will when they do the embryo transfer. It's a "dry run" as they say. Plus get the wonderful history and physical and more blood work. They said the appointment should take 2-3 hours, so I am taking my first morning off work....this also starts me off on adding in injections for the process. AND it means I have to start my no exercising rule!!!! Pretty much, they said at this point on Friday/Saturday I have to act as if I am pregnant. 

      On that note, I have successfully dropped my caffeine consumption to 50 mg a day....HUGE FEAT!!! And I have, almost, cut out diet colas....another big feat! Now if the headaches from it would cease!

    Well, this has gotten long enough.....I will blog more later on. And, last but not least, we are continuing to ask for prayers and looking to God's will on this. He has gotten me through all of my emotionally distraught episodes thus far and is ever patient with me having to continuously give this to Him. To God's glory be!

Shots, shots, shots shots shots shots.....

   This saying had a whole different meaning on our honeymoon to Turks and Caicos (I actually think we heard this moniker way too much across the whole resort and would stop to watch what concoction they had fixed up then).

  

Now, this moniker explains my life over the next many weeks.......so we got all the supplies for the shots in the day after Alan's procedure

Might not look like a ton to you, but those three bags of needles make my stomach churn! But, it meant it was real and we are truly starting! 

     So this week began injections and of course Alan was out of town on day one which made my nerves crazy! So read, re-read, watched videos, and more videos on the instructions (cause even being in medicine you want to make sure it is right and not used to injecting yourself! Especially on something so important)! So, opened the medication, filled the needle, alcohol on my stomach, and pinch....open needle, breathe, and breathe again.....and again.....attempt to go towards stabbing myself.....fail, breathe again

Ok...I can do it....stuck myself and injected the goods (Lupron first). Burned a little and took it out. HOLY COW how am I going to do that every morning????

So, I went on my way and looked down, 

Bruised.....well, at least I'll know where I injected prior and not use the same site! And that ended day 1 of injections.....

     Day 2, Alan was home and wanted to watch me inject so he could do it to me tomorrow....I was freaking out because I didn't want it to hurt again. May I go into tangent that I have the most wonderful and calming husband. He sat there and talked to me and then said, "Go" just do it and not think it is yourself....well, I did it and it didn't hurt or burn!!! So day 2 was a success. I think it is all because of Alan's talking to me and calming me and distracting me. Too bad he travels so much while I have to do these! So we are onto day 3 tomorrow and continuing. That's our journey thus far and we'll keep you posted as it goes....Alan's just glad his part is done. Until next time...

32 Million!!!

    What a day! Yesterday was Alan's "Big Day!" We learned a HUGE lesson in when Alan has a procedure (and something I should already know NOT to do being in the medical profession) that we need NOT do! Googling the procedure or probably procedures prior to having it done (the night before)  and watching the video is NOT a good idea!! There was all types of anxiety on his part. We made it through, though.....just note taken!
    So our day began bright and early as we made it to the fertility center surgery center. We had the best nurses work him up and try to make him feel relaxed. Then, the urologist came in......he went through what he would do, what might have to happen (scalpel freaked Alan out even more), and that he has no gaurantees for us. To say we felt like we were failing before he even started was an understatement.
    So, they doped him up with all the good drugs....he was knocked out solid. And the waiting game began, my nerves were through the roof and I was praying the whole time while I had a wonderful friend/family member, Misty, there to take my mind off things. We talked and before we knew it the urologist came out to get me. I was so nervous! He looked at me and said "We got an all-star amount!" I don't think that I will ever forget those words! He hugged me and led me back to Alan. He was still knocked out.
     I was so excited and when he first opened his eyes he looked at me and asked how it went. I told him we got an all-star amount, whatever that meant. We both broke down in tears. Prayers were answered. We are continuing on our journey for a biological baby!
     It took about another hour for him to fully wake up and be ready to leave the surgery center, which meant I had to go to work before he got to go home. Misty was the life saver of the day and took him home. He spent the day resting and is back to "normal" today.
     We prayed specifically for more than 10 sperm, because we were told that is how many we needed.......Alan asked the count from the time he woke up until after I left......he was given his count.....32 million......God gives abundantly more than we ask or expect!!
      So, now we continue onto the next step.....my injections are being delivered today and we start them next week. We are proceeding cautiously and so excited and nervous at the same time. We continue to give this to God, but we feel such blessing at this moment we are rejoicing again and again. With God for us, who can be against us? I know who stands before me, beside me and behind me and He will continue throughout this process.

The First Steps......

So, our journey has begun. It is quite scary and unbelieveable! Alan and I keep looking at each other and saying "Is it really here? Are we really doing this?" And the answer is, YES! So, we keep on keeping on. I can say the NUMBER ONE thing I have had to do being the control freak that I am is constantly, and I mean constantly, praying to God to give it all to Him. I am learning this slowly but surely!
   So the journey begins with me having to take birth control for the first month. Birth control and me haven't always been the best of friends. Let's just say, my mother has made me trade them due to the fact I get more emotional (which we all know is dangerous!). I have been on the birth control for a week, so far, and I can say that it only has minimally effected my emotions (I've only cried extra about 4 different times, haha). Pray for Alan and everyone close to me that they survive this part!
    The first part of Alan's journey begins tomorrow. Well, I guess we can say it began a few weeks ago. They gave us recommendations of vitamins and supplements for him to take to help with, well, his "boys." So, he began a very detailed regimen of taking these. Let's preface this with, Alan isn't good with taking pills. So, while he is home, I hear counting.....1....2....3...4...5...6...7....8...9. It's quite humorous on my end, but poor thing. So, that leads to his true beginning tomorrow. I might have to have him guest blog about his procedure later on, but he is not looking forward to it. Alan is having to have a procedure for sperm retrieval due to some things that we have tried previously not working out. He is put under general anesthesia (which I tell him is a huge plus) and then they go in to retreive the goods. I guess no man really looks forward to people getting near them! But I digress.....this is probably where we have most anxiety and where we have to pray the most on giving it to God. Every other test we have performed has shown us exactly on my part what I have and don't have. On Alan's part, it has been blood test that tell us that things should be there, but we have no visual proof until the procedure tomorrow. Anxiety, YES! Knowing God is in control and I shouldn't be anxious, YES! Praying to live that, YES! Pretty much, once we get through tomorrow, we will have our answer on whether we are proceeding to have a biological child or if we have to change our direction in acheiving a family. We are praying for the first.
      We believe God is good in all things and all situations. We trust that He is doing what is best for us. In the meantime, we are just praying His will be done and that we will have what we need tomorrow. Until next time, with hopefully a great update......