It's so crazy to believe the babies are two months old. It is going WAY too fast! They are growing so big and at the doctor last week weighed in at 10 lbs 5 oz and 9 lbs 4 oz. They are in the 90% or above for their measurements and don't look like little premie babies, anymore. They moved out of newborn diapers and even harder on me, out of newborn clothes! Well, Zachary has 100% anyway. Ayden can still wear some newborn stuff. I didn't think it would effect me, since nothing else has seemed to as of yet. But today, as I separated out newborn clothes that were too small for the both of them and grabbed 0-3 month clothes out of the drawer to reorganize, I shed a tear or two! Time just needs to freeze!
We had to go to the hospital today for blood draws. Both babies are anemic and have been placed on iron fortified formula and iron vitamins, plus I'm supposed to be taking extra iron so they can have extra in my milk, as well. Our first visit a few weeks ago for their blood draws didn't effect me. They cried, I consoled, all was okay. Today, it was so different! The first round wasn't too bad, but I still felt awful as they cried…maybe because it took the lady several minutes to get the blood out of their foot. Then, I got a phone call after we left that Ayden's blood had clotted in the tube and they needed to redraw it. I shed a tear. While holding him as she pricked his foot a second and then a third time, I hurt for my little baby. He screamed and looked up at me helplessly. I promised him ice cream and steak. It broke my heart, and I finally feel like a mother for that.
On a lighter note, we had a first yesterday! We met one of the nurses from the NICU that I have become friends with and her little boy at a park across town. We were having fun playing at the multiple playgrounds. Both babies needed to eat as soon as we got there so I fed them. Shortly after, Zach needed a diaper change for a poop diaper. No biggie, moms change diapers in their laps all the time. So laid him down, changed that diaper, no biggie. Then Ayden had a wet diaper so i just held him up the other way and changed his…oh yes, pretending to be a pro! Well, we continued playing and I smelled a dirty diaper from Zach again. Got back out another diaper, more wipes, plopped him in my lap. Not for the faint of heart…but we had a major blow out. Up his back, stomach and covering his onesie, which before I even saw covered my shorts and legs. I think that was my true entering into motherhood! AND I had just taken out their change of clothes earlier this week because they had grown out of them…so we had naked baby and no change of clothes for me either! Quite a sight! Haha.
These boys are truly a blessing from God and their little personalities continue to just shine through. Surprisingly, Ayden is the bigger eater and is going to let us know when it is time to eat. There is no consoling until a bottle is in his mouth. I think that Zach could probably go longer without eating, but is thankful when his brother wakes him up to let him know it is time to eat! Ayden is still a spit fire and he loves to stay awake many hours during the day and observe everything going on, especially if there are people around! Zachary is not so laid back anymore and has quite a temper. He knows how to truly pitch a temper tantrum, which may mean trouble in the future! He sleeps some more than his brother but is still alert when he is awake. He has occasionally begun cooing. He loves his Daddy more than anything and easily is consoled by him. They don't really have much to do with each other, but sometimes I will catch them holding hands if I lie them down beside each other with tummy time. Which, speaking of, they hold their heads up for long periods of time and have great head control! But, most of the time they are beside each other, arms are just being flung and hitting each other and kicking each other is the activity of choice! They are eating every 4 hours during the day and every 5-6 at night.
We are over the moon in-love and I am enjoying every second of watching them grow. It is a blessing to have this time off work to spend with them. We are blessed.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
Gratefulness
Luke 2:19 - "but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often."
I understand this passage. Finally, I understand the feeling Mary had when she thought these things. I had the pleasure of spending the past week in Dalton with my mom and dad as Alan was out of town for the week for work. It was such an enjoyable week with my parents. I love how they love me and especially my boys. And what else was exciting was the fact I got to be a "normal" mom with having people visit and finally meet my boys!
It has been such a hard part/experience not having people I love and am close to be able to see my babies. That is the exciting part of having babies is getting to show them off! I sat there observing as people came to my parent's house to meet the boys. I just took it all in and my heart was warmed. This is what it is like to be a mom and feel like a mom. I so enjoyed watching people dote over the boys as they held them. And, the boys loved it too! So, thank you to all who came to visit. You warmed my heart!
After talking to my boss and having it behind me about my return to work, my maternity leave has become quite enjoyable. I have truly gotten to focus on bonding with the boys and let the worry of work pass behind me. I have truly felt bonded to the boys and enjoy watching them change each day.
I have also learned over the past week that traveling with babies is not anything like traveling with adults! They were so good in the car to travel to Knoxville, Dalton, and back to Nashville. The only difficult thing was bedtime routine once we were in Dalton…I think they missed their normal bed! But, they are such good babies and enjoyed their Papa and Lollie holding them! (I think a little too much because now that we are home that is all that they want!).
I am truly blessed with these two boys and even more blessed with the friends and church family who have prayed for them. We are overwhelmed with love and we appreciate each and every one of you showing this to us in one way or another. The boys turn two months tomorrow and it is so hard to believe it! Time is running way too fast!
I understand this passage. Finally, I understand the feeling Mary had when she thought these things. I had the pleasure of spending the past week in Dalton with my mom and dad as Alan was out of town for the week for work. It was such an enjoyable week with my parents. I love how they love me and especially my boys. And what else was exciting was the fact I got to be a "normal" mom with having people visit and finally meet my boys!
It has been such a hard part/experience not having people I love and am close to be able to see my babies. That is the exciting part of having babies is getting to show them off! I sat there observing as people came to my parent's house to meet the boys. I just took it all in and my heart was warmed. This is what it is like to be a mom and feel like a mom. I so enjoyed watching people dote over the boys as they held them. And, the boys loved it too! So, thank you to all who came to visit. You warmed my heart!
After talking to my boss and having it behind me about my return to work, my maternity leave has become quite enjoyable. I have truly gotten to focus on bonding with the boys and let the worry of work pass behind me. I have truly felt bonded to the boys and enjoy watching them change each day.
I have also learned over the past week that traveling with babies is not anything like traveling with adults! They were so good in the car to travel to Knoxville, Dalton, and back to Nashville. The only difficult thing was bedtime routine once we were in Dalton…I think they missed their normal bed! But, they are such good babies and enjoyed their Papa and Lollie holding them! (I think a little too much because now that we are home that is all that they want!).
I am truly blessed with these two boys and even more blessed with the friends and church family who have prayed for them. We are overwhelmed with love and we appreciate each and every one of you showing this to us in one way or another. The boys turn two months tomorrow and it is so hard to believe it! Time is running way too fast!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Life At Home
It is hard to believe that the boys will be 8 weeks old tomorrow and we have been home almost 4 weeks! Time has flown by and the NICU almost seems like a distant memory. The boys are doing great and we met their due date with two healthy weight kiddos!
Transition has gone pretty smoothly, though we all have our moments! Like I've said before, the NICU schedule is a blessing because the boys have been on a consistent 3 - 4 hour schedule since being home. There have been some quicker feedings, but I think they were going through a growth spurt! Alan was able to stay home with us for the first two weeks which was wonderful! We really got bonding time in with the boys and got to "gel" as a family. My mom and Alan's dad have been amazing in helping, as well, and have helped while Alan has gone back to work. We couldn't do it without them!
The boys have had biweekly visits with their pediatrician to keep tabs on everything. They have grown like champs! They have gained almost 4 pounds a piece since leaving the hospital (which means they are taken off their specialty high calorie formula twice a day!). This past week, they had blood work to check their iron, which was a little low, so we were put on a regular calorie formula with iron and an extra vitamin. If that is all we have to do, we are happy! But it does mean they have to go back in 3 weeks and get pricked again for labs. I feel like a bad mom because I don't cry or get upset when they have to be pricked.
And on that note….life is definitely different then what I ever imagined being a mom. It kind of scares me. I imagined feeling differently then I do and immediate bonding. I have gone into not feeling like I got to really bond with the babies while in the NICU on an earlier post. I figured once we had them home, the bonding would be immediate. I have to say that that was a hard pill to swallow when they came home and I didn't feel that instant connection. They are my babies, no doubt. And I love them with all that I am. But, something just hasn't felt normal. I cried every day over this. I worried sick over having to return to work without fully bonding and connecting with my children. They are such WONDERFUL babies and yet they still didn't feel like mine. Alan hurt when they hurt, was able to console them with ease, makes bottles and cleaned for them. I told him on multiple occasions how horrible I felt because I did not hurt when they hurt. I cried to my doctor about all of this and we discussed it. She said she expected me to have some difficulties like this especially since all three of us had been through so much, and this made me feel a little better. Then I got to have a discussion with my doctor and he and I agreed I would come back part time in January! Relief and definitely has brought down my level of anxiety and strain to connect quickly with the boys. So, things are getting better and my connection with the babies is getting stronger. It just goes to show you that not everything is cookie cutter and immediate as many expect. I have enjoyed every minute home with these boys and they are such a blessing.
So, back to the boys. They are now weighing a hefty 9 lbs 7 oz and 8 lbs 3 oz for their due date. Just like newborn babies! Ayden is still awake more than Zachary. They both like to stay awake after their morning feeding until lunch, then it is hit or miss after that on when they wake up for a long stretch. Ayden has surprisingly become quite laid back and Zach has become the feisty one! He has learned what a temper tantrum is and likes to throw them! Both boys let us know when they are hungry and it quickly becomes dramatic (eating of their own arms is quite a sad feat!). It is fun to watch their personalities come out.
I am continually learning to be a mom to twins and I am loving it. They are quite messes but have every single person they meet wrapped around their finger. I hate to admit that they are already quite spoiled. We are so blessed and are excited to continue watching them grow.
Transition has gone pretty smoothly, though we all have our moments! Like I've said before, the NICU schedule is a blessing because the boys have been on a consistent 3 - 4 hour schedule since being home. There have been some quicker feedings, but I think they were going through a growth spurt! Alan was able to stay home with us for the first two weeks which was wonderful! We really got bonding time in with the boys and got to "gel" as a family. My mom and Alan's dad have been amazing in helping, as well, and have helped while Alan has gone back to work. We couldn't do it without them!
The boys have had biweekly visits with their pediatrician to keep tabs on everything. They have grown like champs! They have gained almost 4 pounds a piece since leaving the hospital (which means they are taken off their specialty high calorie formula twice a day!). This past week, they had blood work to check their iron, which was a little low, so we were put on a regular calorie formula with iron and an extra vitamin. If that is all we have to do, we are happy! But it does mean they have to go back in 3 weeks and get pricked again for labs. I feel like a bad mom because I don't cry or get upset when they have to be pricked.
And on that note….life is definitely different then what I ever imagined being a mom. It kind of scares me. I imagined feeling differently then I do and immediate bonding. I have gone into not feeling like I got to really bond with the babies while in the NICU on an earlier post. I figured once we had them home, the bonding would be immediate. I have to say that that was a hard pill to swallow when they came home and I didn't feel that instant connection. They are my babies, no doubt. And I love them with all that I am. But, something just hasn't felt normal. I cried every day over this. I worried sick over having to return to work without fully bonding and connecting with my children. They are such WONDERFUL babies and yet they still didn't feel like mine. Alan hurt when they hurt, was able to console them with ease, makes bottles and cleaned for them. I told him on multiple occasions how horrible I felt because I did not hurt when they hurt. I cried to my doctor about all of this and we discussed it. She said she expected me to have some difficulties like this especially since all three of us had been through so much, and this made me feel a little better. Then I got to have a discussion with my doctor and he and I agreed I would come back part time in January! Relief and definitely has brought down my level of anxiety and strain to connect quickly with the boys. So, things are getting better and my connection with the babies is getting stronger. It just goes to show you that not everything is cookie cutter and immediate as many expect. I have enjoyed every minute home with these boys and they are such a blessing.
So, back to the boys. They are now weighing a hefty 9 lbs 7 oz and 8 lbs 3 oz for their due date. Just like newborn babies! Ayden is still awake more than Zachary. They both like to stay awake after their morning feeding until lunch, then it is hit or miss after that on when they wake up for a long stretch. Ayden has surprisingly become quite laid back and Zach has become the feisty one! He has learned what a temper tantrum is and likes to throw them! Both boys let us know when they are hungry and it quickly becomes dramatic (eating of their own arms is quite a sad feat!). It is fun to watch their personalities come out.
I am continually learning to be a mom to twins and I am loving it. They are quite messes but have every single person they meet wrapped around their finger. I hate to admit that they are already quite spoiled. We are so blessed and are excited to continue watching them grow.
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