Well our rode to babies has hit a bump in my plan, and I realize I am saying "my" instead of God's (because He always has a reason). It was a normal week this past week. Short due to Memorial Day (which actually was spent with a lot of walking and shopping and purchasing of two recliners for our babies) and not too bad at work. Everything was going pretty normal. I had contractions while at work some, but that is nothing out of the ordinary. Alan was home for the week, which always makes my life less stressful! I was just looking forward to my endocrine appointment Friday so that I could get my crazy sugar under control!
Thursday was a clinic day in Kentucky with only a half day scheduled. It was kind of crazy because our computer system was down, but nothing too pressing. I had a few contractions throughout the day, but it was nothing out of the ordinary and just random and short lived. On my way home, I decided to go by hhGregg because we were purchasing a freezer, so I got that over with, went by the grocery store for dinner supplies and headed home. Then it began, I sat down to wait on Alan to get home before I was going to cook. I began having a contraction, then another one, and another one. This was weird, never did I have them at home and never were there any that were consistent. So, I just kinda blew it off. By the time Alan got home an hour later, I was having them pretty consistently and I had started timing them. Every four and a half to five minutes and they were last a minute. I figured it was maybe because I was starving to death, as it was almost 8 o'clock and I hadn't eaten anything since 2. Alan noticed I was wincing a little, and then he got concerned. I rested, drank some water and he cooked dinner. Every time I stood up to go help him, the contractions got stronger. So, he made me call my OB. We were immediately told to go be evaluated at the ED. I told Alan we were going to eat before we left, because we all know that you don't get food at the ED and we would be there forever!
At the emergency department, they took me in, evaluated me for being dehydrated, and began me with fluids. All the monitors were hooked up and the babies looked good. It also confirmed I was contracting every 5 minutes or so consistently. The fluids didn't help, actually started making the contractions worse. So, they gave me Procardia to see if it helped with the contractions, that was a no go. Thankfully, when they checked me I was closed and didn't appear to be dilating. So, they ordered an ultrasound to measure the depth of my cervix. I also received an injection of terbutaline to see if this would slow them down. My cervix depth was good, babies looked good (baby B had actually turned back around to being breech and Baby A is head down on my cervix, both are very feisty). The terbutaline slowed the contractions down minutely, but not for long. The doctor at the ED decided since I wasn't dilating I could go home (at 2 am) and follow up with my OB.
Friday was filled with doctor's appointments. The endocrinologist put me on an oral medication and got me set on a diabetic diet. Then was my OB appointment, where she was on the edge of putting me in the hospital for observation for the weekend or letting me go home on strict bed rest and call if contractions were worse. We agreed we would call and I agreed I would give up being stubborn and do what's best for the babies.
So, we are home on bed rest and only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom. It was kinda nice to be told I couldn't cook or clean :). We were to return to my OB on Monday, but since I had an appointment on Wednesday, already, she said to follow up then. I am on bed rest until then. She, also, started me on Procardia 4 times a day for the reduction of the contractions. We are hoping this completely stops them, but they seem to think I won't stop and will be a "contracting lady" for the rest of my pregnancy. So far, they have calmed down, but are continuing every time I stand up and are not consistently occurring as I am lying down.
I have to remember how blessed I am to make it this far without any complications or bed rest. I made it farther than what other's thought and don't have any indication of labor right now, which makes me happy. I'm just having a hard time coming to grips with possibly being on bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy. I wanted to work as long as I could up to the birth so I could have more time off with the babies once they are born. I don't want them to be early or in the NICU because it scares me more than anything and knowing Alan had that experience with his two first children, I don't want that to be another experience for him. But, I want more than anything these babies to "cook" as long as they can and be healthy, so I accept this bed rest for that reason. Now, I just have to pick out a new hobby!
Please pray for our precious boys as this pregnancy continues. Pray they stay put until at least 34 weeks and that everything goes smoothly. Also, pray that I keep things in perspective and remember that God has a plan far greater than mine!
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Thursday, May 22, 2014
And That's Where the Cookie Crumbles….
We had our next OB appointment last Friday. We were 24 weeks and 6 days at that time and got to have another ultrasound! Our little men are growing wonderfully at 1 lb 14 oz and 1 lb 11 oz (which is just along the lines of what they should weigh if they were a singleton pregnancy)! All looks well with them and they are both head down at the moment.
We got to ask a lot of questions this visit and got a lot of answers. First, contractions are normal for pregnancy at this point, especially with twins, when you move around too much. So that brought some ease of mind to both of us. We were given the information of when contractions are too much. We also found out that I'm very limited on my travel from this point forward (so it was a great thing we did our baby moon the week before!!). Looks like my traveling ways are halted for awhile now!
Then we discussed upcoming appointments and my previous glucose test. We get to go back in 3 weeks with the usual heart ultrasound and then she said, and it isn't going to be a fun appointment. I was confused for a minute and asked if it was because I would have my group B strep test. "No" she replied, you have to do your next glucose test. I immediately went into tears. I then told her the nurse had told me I wouldn't have to do one again this pregnancy. I guess the nurse was wrong, because I barely passed my last test, she told me. I had the choice of repeating the 3 hour test (which I was trying to keep my tears in when she said I had to) or test my glucose at home by pricking my finger 4 times a day. I picked the latter. I can handle a finger prick a whole lot better than that torture again!!
So, I started checking my glucose at home starting Saturday morning. My fasting blood sugar is supposed to be less than 95 and so far on my fasting numbers, I have read 115, 136, 125, and 115. Needless to say, I am above what I need to be. So, I called her yesterday and let her know I was elevated (thinking it was best to not wait three weeks until my appointment). I am now officially a "Gestational Diabetic." Congratulations, they said, say good bye to sweets and starches and start a diabetic diet. Woohoo! What is crazy is I haven't really eaten sweets my whole pregnancy and maybe french fries and mashed potatoes have become too staple! Then, I was informed that I have to get in with an endocrinologist as soon as possible, because with twins it is even more dangerous to be diabetic.
A sense of sadness has overcome me because I wanted to be healthy and everything perfect this whole pregnancy. I didn't want to have to take medicines (which I have had to for iron, indigestion, and now diabetes). I want my babies to be perfect and not have risks. So, I have my appointment with the endocrinologist next week and get to find out whether I'll be on a pill or insulin injections.
So, please say a prayer for the babies' safety as this pregnancy continues. Pray that my gestational diabetes gets under control quickly and I make it without my cravings! And pray we make it full term!
We got to ask a lot of questions this visit and got a lot of answers. First, contractions are normal for pregnancy at this point, especially with twins, when you move around too much. So that brought some ease of mind to both of us. We were given the information of when contractions are too much. We also found out that I'm very limited on my travel from this point forward (so it was a great thing we did our baby moon the week before!!). Looks like my traveling ways are halted for awhile now!
Then we discussed upcoming appointments and my previous glucose test. We get to go back in 3 weeks with the usual heart ultrasound and then she said, and it isn't going to be a fun appointment. I was confused for a minute and asked if it was because I would have my group B strep test. "No" she replied, you have to do your next glucose test. I immediately went into tears. I then told her the nurse had told me I wouldn't have to do one again this pregnancy. I guess the nurse was wrong, because I barely passed my last test, she told me. I had the choice of repeating the 3 hour test (which I was trying to keep my tears in when she said I had to) or test my glucose at home by pricking my finger 4 times a day. I picked the latter. I can handle a finger prick a whole lot better than that torture again!!
So, I started checking my glucose at home starting Saturday morning. My fasting blood sugar is supposed to be less than 95 and so far on my fasting numbers, I have read 115, 136, 125, and 115. Needless to say, I am above what I need to be. So, I called her yesterday and let her know I was elevated (thinking it was best to not wait three weeks until my appointment). I am now officially a "Gestational Diabetic." Congratulations, they said, say good bye to sweets and starches and start a diabetic diet. Woohoo! What is crazy is I haven't really eaten sweets my whole pregnancy and maybe french fries and mashed potatoes have become too staple! Then, I was informed that I have to get in with an endocrinologist as soon as possible, because with twins it is even more dangerous to be diabetic.
A sense of sadness has overcome me because I wanted to be healthy and everything perfect this whole pregnancy. I didn't want to have to take medicines (which I have had to for iron, indigestion, and now diabetes). I want my babies to be perfect and not have risks. So, I have my appointment with the endocrinologist next week and get to find out whether I'll be on a pill or insulin injections.
So, please say a prayer for the babies' safety as this pregnancy continues. Pray that my gestational diabetes gets under control quickly and I make it without my cravings! And pray we make it full term!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
My Identity
This last weekend was Mother's Day weekend and I began to reflect on Mother's Day and on this time last year. You see, this time last year, I was in a state of sadness. We had just found out that conception the natural way was not in our cards and we were unsure if even fertility treatments would work. I became a woman without children. A woman who didn't know if she would be able to have children which is what I longed for my whole life.
This time last year, we had told a few friends of the position we were in and man do I have some encouraging friends. They sent blogs of women they knew or didn't know who had gone through the same season, Bible verses to read, and prayed for us. During that time, I received a blog, and I wish I could find it now, but it had to do with Mother's Day for the motherless and how we need to approach this situation.
I had never been sad on Mother's Day, but I also had never been told I might not become a mother naturally. Mother's Day was always celebrating my mom and that sufficed. I never thought of it as my holiday (unless it was my birthday too of course!). But last year changed things. And it changed my view on how we all need to be tender-hearted to women who are childless or who have lost a child. There is a sadness deep within. And I suffered from a "Why God?" and "Why Me?" mentality. It's almost as if Satan knows your longing and wants it to sting a little bit more and for you to build up a bitterness.
So, I have been thinking about this off and on since that day last year. And this whole process has brought me to a deeper understanding and a deeper affection for those who have difficulties getting pregnant, staying pregnant, or just being a mom.
Something I say to all mother's who have not been through this and know someone who is going through the process is this. Be compassionate, be understanding, and please do not try to give advice to us. Don't tell us it will happen and don't promise things only God is in control of, it doesn't make the situation better. Be a supportive listening ear. And let it be okay with your friend/sister for them to have some sadness and share it with you at certain times. It's what we need more than advice.
But to those who are going through this process (which is where this long blog is supposed to start) I have this advice. Where is your identity? Not only did I read a blog last year about this, but our preacher preached on this Sunday during his "Mother's Day" sermon. Where is your identity? Is it in being a mother? Is it in being a wife? Is it in being a friend? Or is it in being in Christ? Those first things are wonderful things to be, but they don't make us who we are and shouldn't define us. Our life in Christ is what should define us! It's such great news and such a wonderful perspective!
Being identified in Christ is how we should live our lives and once we have this mindset, it is amazing what He can accomplish through us. Even in those hard times when we don't understand why. He does. And He has a plan. Our focus needs to be on our relationship with Him and looking to what he has for us in this moment. We are beautiful, amazing creatures no matter if we are a mother or wife or not. Begin thinking of all the things you can do for Him and areas you can serve without having a husband or child to keep you busy. It is amazing at the opportunities! We are all wonderfully made and it doesn't matter what earthly title we hold. It only matters the title we hold with Christ.
So, though it is hard and I know we all have our frustrated, pity-party, sad, depressing days (because believe me I have had quite a few) come back to the question of "Where is your identity?" Because this brings encouragement to me and has throughout this process. God knows our hearts. He knows our desires. He knows what He has for us. We just have to trust in Him and live for Him.
My Identity is not in being a Mother, but in Jesus Christ.
This time last year, we had told a few friends of the position we were in and man do I have some encouraging friends. They sent blogs of women they knew or didn't know who had gone through the same season, Bible verses to read, and prayed for us. During that time, I received a blog, and I wish I could find it now, but it had to do with Mother's Day for the motherless and how we need to approach this situation.
I had never been sad on Mother's Day, but I also had never been told I might not become a mother naturally. Mother's Day was always celebrating my mom and that sufficed. I never thought of it as my holiday (unless it was my birthday too of course!). But last year changed things. And it changed my view on how we all need to be tender-hearted to women who are childless or who have lost a child. There is a sadness deep within. And I suffered from a "Why God?" and "Why Me?" mentality. It's almost as if Satan knows your longing and wants it to sting a little bit more and for you to build up a bitterness.
So, I have been thinking about this off and on since that day last year. And this whole process has brought me to a deeper understanding and a deeper affection for those who have difficulties getting pregnant, staying pregnant, or just being a mom.
Something I say to all mother's who have not been through this and know someone who is going through the process is this. Be compassionate, be understanding, and please do not try to give advice to us. Don't tell us it will happen and don't promise things only God is in control of, it doesn't make the situation better. Be a supportive listening ear. And let it be okay with your friend/sister for them to have some sadness and share it with you at certain times. It's what we need more than advice.
But to those who are going through this process (which is where this long blog is supposed to start) I have this advice. Where is your identity? Not only did I read a blog last year about this, but our preacher preached on this Sunday during his "Mother's Day" sermon. Where is your identity? Is it in being a mother? Is it in being a wife? Is it in being a friend? Or is it in being in Christ? Those first things are wonderful things to be, but they don't make us who we are and shouldn't define us. Our life in Christ is what should define us! It's such great news and such a wonderful perspective!
Being identified in Christ is how we should live our lives and once we have this mindset, it is amazing what He can accomplish through us. Even in those hard times when we don't understand why. He does. And He has a plan. Our focus needs to be on our relationship with Him and looking to what he has for us in this moment. We are beautiful, amazing creatures no matter if we are a mother or wife or not. Begin thinking of all the things you can do for Him and areas you can serve without having a husband or child to keep you busy. It is amazing at the opportunities! We are all wonderfully made and it doesn't matter what earthly title we hold. It only matters the title we hold with Christ.
So, though it is hard and I know we all have our frustrated, pity-party, sad, depressing days (because believe me I have had quite a few) come back to the question of "Where is your identity?" Because this brings encouragement to me and has throughout this process. God knows our hearts. He knows our desires. He knows what He has for us. We just have to trust in Him and live for Him.
My Identity is not in being a Mother, but in Jesus Christ.
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