Admiration

I admire you. Yes, you. Women who are unable to conceive naturally. Who have a desire to be pregnant and try everything under the sun without successfully carrying a child in utero. I admire your strength, courage, and determination. I admire your wisdom you gain through this process. I admire how you handle heartache on a daily occasion.
      I never truly thought of these women and their hardships until I was brought to this stage of my own. HOW SELFISH HAVE I BEEN??? Yes, I know plenty of women in this predicament and am even so blessed to call many of them friends. I have prayed alongside them, for them, and with them for children. But to truly feel their pain, I have not been successful in placing myself in their spots. And I am sorry for that. Your hearts were and are sensitive and I apologize for not being sensitive to that.
     I know many of these mothers who are now adoptive parents and are overly thrilled with that blessing that God has given them, but still, I know there is still a longing to carry a child. We, as women, have a responsibility (not only from God but His calling for us to others) to place ourselves in the shoes of the suffering. I fail this on a daily basis. Yes, these children that they have now adopted and called their own are no different than if they had their own, but there is still a sensitivity towards being pregnant. So, convicting myself, I call us to think of things we say to women in this position prior to saying/doing them. We need to encourage each other, pray for each other, and place ourselves in the other's shoes. Be honest with each other, I have found this to bring the most sanity to  me thus far! Pretending to be happy and jovial is way too much work, so having people we can be honest and open with is such a blessing!
     Thank you to those before me who have gone through infertility and taught me things. Thank you for being open with me and giving me a glimpse into your heart. Women who go through this are stronger than I ever could imagine and I admire your strength. You carry on and continue to praise God through it all. You give everyone hope who is in your shoes.

Overwhelmed.....

So, we attended our Fertility Class last week which was overwhelming to say the least! The class consisted of two portions, a group setting with other couples who are going to be starting this process and an individual session. So we began, we were educated on all of the medications we could possibly be placed on....holy cow. We then were taught how to inject these medications correctly. Thankfully, having experience in this, it wasn't so bad....Alan did a great job of learning, though we didn't actually inject ourselves. After the medications were covered, we went through our rules of what we can and can't do over the cycle process and into pregnancy. Let's go with the hardest things Lauren learned:
   1. Caffeine reduction to 50 mg a day. (I had a Diet Mountain Dew worth over 100 mg sitting in from of me for my "morning" drink). This will be a dramatic change that I am starting to wean myself off of as we speak (since I think it may be a long process!). It was quite humorous because Alan and I had coffee and Diet Mountain Dew while every other couple had water.....
   2. Once I begin injections I cannot exercise anymore, not even a brisk walk. Now, I was quite excited about this part because most people know I loathe running, so an excuse was music to my ears! Which also means that I need to get on it now so that I can handle not exercising and not gaining anymore weight! It was quite humorous because the lady beside me was upset beyond words she would not be able to exercise (I was like "OMG, not that serious."). She was more upset than I was about caffeine! haha.
   3. Pelvic rest......3 months of it......look it up. They don't tell ya that part.

So, once we had that covered, we went on to more and more information about each day of the cycle and the schedule of blood work, ultrasounds, and transfers. It was all OVERWHELMING! We then had to go through paperwork for decisions we wanted to make concerning genetic counseling, freezing of embryos, placement of embryos, etc. Lots to decide about!

    So after we completed that information, we met with an IVF nurse, she went over our individual plan, asked when we would like to begin, and answered some further questions. She was the teacher of the class and when she found out I was in the medical field apologized for the class being so simple.....my eyes got big, I was like, um, there was nothing simple about that! Even us medical people don't know the ins and outs of infertility!
  
   So the journey continues, we are making our final decisions and I probably will not be posting as much in detail as some things I want to keep private and don't want to expose our exact cycle until it is completed. I am going to continue keeping track and will be posting the process after we are completed. That being said, we ask for prayers over the next several months as we make our decision of when to begin this process, the process itself, and its outcome. We want God's will to be done in this and His grace to be upon us. Until next time.....