Yesterday was my first appointment in this cycle. By this point last cycle, I had already gone to around 3-5 appointments for bloodwork and ultrasounds, so to have yesterday as a first, was very weird! It, also, has made things a lot less stressful! I still don't fully feel like I am even in the midst of a fertility cycle. Besides the bruising of my stomach.....it has gotten a lot worse this time then last and I look like I am wearing a constant black belt across the front of my abdomen, it hasn't been so bad! The actual injections don't hurt too badly. I did finally feel the suppression of my hormones this past Friday, but I haven't been crying uncontrollably like last time, I just have a very short fuse and feel like I am in a constant bad mood.
So, back to my appointment. It was the suppression check which checks to make sure my estrogen is depleted and my uterus and ovaries aren't preparing for ovulation. So, blood work and the wonderful ultrasound it was! Had to get used to that again. Then, had an appointment with my nurse practicioner for a physical. Waited until my 3:00 pm voicemail and was told I am beautifully suppressed! So, that means we are on track so far! I got to decrease my injection that suppresses everything and start estrogen injections tomorrow......I am afraid my mood swings are going to start!
Also, yesterday, I got to book our transfer date and time!!!! If everything goes as planned, we get to transfer December 13 at 11:00 AM. So many prayers are much appreciated up until that time and at that time. I still have another round of blood work and ultrasounds to go to fully determine if we get that date AND we are praying the embryos come out of freezing.
The biggest problem right now, though, is my neck. It has been getting worse, unfortunately. I am trying not to take any medications, even Tylenol or Aleve, just to see if I can handle it. If y'all could please pray for a miracle healing there with it. I have had constant pain into my shoulder from it and pain down my arm and I have not been able to sleep through the night at all this week. So, needless to say, something needs to change so I can even proceed with the transfer. The new PA starts in the OR later this week, so hopefully that will help me get the rest I need from it and enough for my herniation to heal a little.
Anyway, this is long enough. The next appointment is December 2, so may not update until then. Please just continue to keep us in your prayers throughout this process.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
A Needle a Day
So, the initial injections began today! Well, injection. Lupron injection is the first to begin. This is the injection which suppresses all of my hormones and made me the craziest last time (i.e. crying over the dust on my furniture plus everything else in the world). These injections go into the abdomen and are small needles, so not too bad. Alan and I were actually talking last night of how this process is so much more laid back. It doesn't even feel like we are in the middle of another cycle yet! In the last cycle, I was so worried about doing everything perfectly and so into each step, I think I was overwhelmed. With this cycle, it hasn't been so rule oriented so it is much more laid back. Besides birth control and daily vitamins, life hadn't changed until today.
So, I woke up and got ready for my injection and psyched myself up for it. Remembering the pain of the "big needles" into my gluteal muscles, this injection is nothing! That's what I told myself, at least. Injections are never fun, but it wasn't too bad and I had my typical allergic reaction to the injection but it went away.
Also today, we had to have our consents signed and turned in. So we signed for declining genetic counseling, because upon reading on it, at that point I think it is taking a little more control in the process than we should be allowed as humans. So, my embryos aren't the "perfect" ones that some may think, they still have a chance of having learning disabilities or genetic abnormalities. We prayerfully decided we wanted to make the choices that were least invasive and along the lines of what my body would do naturally in making a baby or not. We, also, had to sign our consents for the whole procedure again, which is always fun too.
So, we have officially begun the suppression portion. I take these injections by themselves until next Tuesday when I have to go into the office for a suppression check. If I am suppressed, then I get to start on other injections. So, we will see! But, until then, it is happy poking....and hopefully not too much crying!
So, I woke up and got ready for my injection and psyched myself up for it. Remembering the pain of the "big needles" into my gluteal muscles, this injection is nothing! That's what I told myself, at least. Injections are never fun, but it wasn't too bad and I had my typical allergic reaction to the injection but it went away.
Also today, we had to have our consents signed and turned in. So we signed for declining genetic counseling, because upon reading on it, at that point I think it is taking a little more control in the process than we should be allowed as humans. So, my embryos aren't the "perfect" ones that some may think, they still have a chance of having learning disabilities or genetic abnormalities. We prayerfully decided we wanted to make the choices that were least invasive and along the lines of what my body would do naturally in making a baby or not. We, also, had to sign our consents for the whole procedure again, which is always fun too.
So, we have officially begun the suppression portion. I take these injections by themselves until next Tuesday when I have to go into the office for a suppression check. If I am suppressed, then I get to start on other injections. So, we will see! But, until then, it is happy poking....and hopefully not too much crying!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Faith
Faith - being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see - Hebrews 11:1
Faith - assurance that God's promises will never fail, even if sometimes we do not experience their fulfillment in our mortal existence.
Faith - confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 NLT
One thing that I have found division in with IVF is the question with if Christians should even do it. I have been told by some that if God has not allowed me to have children naturally, I should accept this because it is His sign I shouldn't have a child of my own and move on. I have been asked why I didn't first run to the choice of adoption as He says that we should care for orphans. I have been told that this is allowing science to rule instead of God. But, I think that the thing that has hurt the most is saying that I shouldn't be allowed to try IVF because God has not allowed me to get pregnant naturally.
So how does faith play into IVF? Well, I put it simply. Science cannot create a life no matter how much they are involved. GOD CREATES LIFE. He develops each cell and each embryo. He makes the decision if they implant and if a pregnancy occurs. That has nothing to do with science. If anything, this has only STRENGTHENED my relationship with God and showed me how He is so involved in each step.
My answer to those that have a problem with IVF. If you had a cancer diagnosis, a cold, the flu, an ear infection, or any other medical issue, would you not seek out medical treatment? If you did seek medical treatment and used the science we have and resources we have in this day and age, would someone question your faith in God to heal? I simply believe not. It is an accepted decision to seek medical advice and treatment for any ailment and God has blessed us with these resources.
So why question my faith in what God can do and His miracles because I choose to try to conceive a baby through the resources God has provided? It will still be that much of a miracle if it does work. I have assurance that God gave me this HUGE desire in my heart to conceive a child of my own with the faith that HE will make it happen. His grace is enough. His way is enough.
I only pray my faith will not faulter if I do not ever become pregnant with my own child. But I do have the faith He has somthing great planned. Something far greater than I can ask or imagine.
So I hope you see, faith is the center of this journey. Not my faith in science or myself, but my faith in God. And to those people that say anything different, I ask that you check yourself at the door. Do not judge me or my faith. My heart has a desire that God has placed in me to proceed with this method. He has placed a blanket of peace over Alan and me. And He has grown me more in the past 6 months than I have grown in many years. His grace is sufficient. He comforts those in need. He carries us through trials and tirbulations. He has a Will far greater than anything we can imagine. And for that I have faith in my God.
One thing that I have found division in with IVF is the question with if Christians should even do it. I have been told by some that if God has not allowed me to have children naturally, I should accept this because it is His sign I shouldn't have a child of my own and move on. I have been asked why I didn't first run to the choice of adoption as He says that we should care for orphans. I have been told that this is allowing science to rule instead of God. But, I think that the thing that has hurt the most is saying that I shouldn't be allowed to try IVF because God has not allowed me to get pregnant naturally.
So how does faith play into IVF? Well, I put it simply. Science cannot create a life no matter how much they are involved. GOD CREATES LIFE. He develops each cell and each embryo. He makes the decision if they implant and if a pregnancy occurs. That has nothing to do with science. If anything, this has only STRENGTHENED my relationship with God and showed me how He is so involved in each step.
My answer to those that have a problem with IVF. If you had a cancer diagnosis, a cold, the flu, an ear infection, or any other medical issue, would you not seek out medical treatment? If you did seek medical treatment and used the science we have and resources we have in this day and age, would someone question your faith in God to heal? I simply believe not. It is an accepted decision to seek medical advice and treatment for any ailment and God has blessed us with these resources.
So why question my faith in what God can do and His miracles because I choose to try to conceive a baby through the resources God has provided? It will still be that much of a miracle if it does work. I have assurance that God gave me this HUGE desire in my heart to conceive a child of my own with the faith that HE will make it happen. His grace is enough. His way is enough.
I only pray my faith will not faulter if I do not ever become pregnant with my own child. But I do have the faith He has somthing great planned. Something far greater than I can ask or imagine.
So I hope you see, faith is the center of this journey. Not my faith in science or myself, but my faith in God. And to those people that say anything different, I ask that you check yourself at the door. Do not judge me or my faith. My heart has a desire that God has placed in me to proceed with this method. He has placed a blanket of peace over Alan and me. And He has grown me more in the past 6 months than I have grown in many years. His grace is sufficient. He comforts those in need. He carries us through trials and tirbulations. He has a Will far greater than anything we can imagine. And for that I have faith in my God.
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