We're at it again.....

So, we begin again....the time has come to start our frozen embryo cycle. I actually was worried we wouldn't be able to begin it because of our travel schedule in December, but it looks like we will make it just in the knick of time!

      So, what are we doing?? Well, first step begins today. Alan and I get to take a round of antibiotics (to make sure that we don't spread any germs back and forth) and I get to start my month long birth control! I actually have spent the past few days paying for our cycle and paying for my meds. Though I know injections are coming, I am so excited about ordering all of it! I am excited for this cycle! 

     So, birth control for this month and I get to begin my injections in 17 days. That's when the fun begins, until then it is pretty boring. 

      I ask for prayer during this time. Y'all are such prayer warriors for me and I covet them and Alan covets them more than you know. We can both tell you that God is our strength and the only way we have been able to face this process. We ask you to specifically pray for our embryos. Pray that they are prepared adequately and that they survive our unfreezing process in December. Pray that God protects them and provides them with what they need. And also, begin praying for me, as my body transitions into one that is accepting of these embryos. Pray that they implant and that we are able to carry these embryos. 

       Like I said in my previous post, this one is live this time. So my raw emotions are true to moment and so are my prayer needs. Thank you for your love and support and we will keep you posted!

A Kink in the Plan.....

So, we have prayed and prayed and seeked and have found peace in proceeding with our frozen cycle this year. We wanted to allow me to have a regular cycle and then start again after that. Then, a kink was thrown in our plans.....

    Last December, I began having some pain in my shoulder and it bothered me enough that I couldn't carry my purse on my right side. It got somewhat better but bothered me every once in awhile. It began bothering me again this summer and just happened that we joined a group in our practice that had an ortho shoulder guy. So I asked him his thoughts. Diagnosed with a torn rhomboid muscle but he said he thought it might have something to do with my neck too. I did some stretches and it improved. About a month and a half ago it got HORRIBLE. It began going down my arm and I couldn't sleep for days and I started having numbness in my hands. Told my doc, and after 2 weeks of persuasion, he convinced me to have an MRI. His response to my MRI "Holy crap how did you do that?" And "if my neck looked like your's, I would be in bed crying." Needless to say, I had a huge herniated disc in my neck. He and I talked and we know the only solution to my problem is surgery to fix it. But both of us don't want to do this. So, what to do.....

    I've been on steroids and muscle relaxers and now antiinflammatories and thankfully we have a wonderful physical therapist in our office who has been working with me. It has helped a lot actually. But we have the thought...do we proceed with the frozen cycle or do we proceed with surgery? We are praying about it and have been. 

       So, I have decided that I'm going to suck it up. I have tried to stay off aleve  and see how I am. As long as I am not I  the OR, my symptoms aren't as bad. Being in the OR this week, I have hurt more than usual and I can't feel my right arm and have pain into my shoulder. But, I know my days in the OR are limited and I think I will be good off anti-inflammatories if I am not in the OR. It's like God worked his perfect timing in my office hiring a new PA to work in the OR for me and all of this happening. 

      So now, we are ready to just get pregnant!!!!! We will let you know when it begins! It's just a waiting game for the moment.....and it will all be live this time, I can't give up all the prayers and support from  you!

So What Now??

Well, we finally went to the fertility clinic to discuss why our cycle didn't work, what's the next step, and what our options are. Alan and I were both nervous going in but prayed through it. By this time, I am so much more relaxed and at peace with this whole process. I think that my mental/emotional breakdown and prayers of everyone has put me at a really good place.
     My doctor, Dr. Eblin, came into the room and began with condolences. We told her we appreciated it, but we were okay and honestly, I wasn't lying. We are okay with it. Do we wish it happened, yes, but do we trust in God's goodness, yes. So, I digress. She started going through our chart with us and the details of how she looked at our whole process. My labs - perfect, my eggs - perfect, my uterus - perfect, the embryo - great graded (because none are perfect in medicine's eyes). She looked up and said, "I honestly can't tell you why it didn't work."
      So, what's next? We still have two frozen embryos. She suggests we start there. There is a 70% chance that each will "dethaw" and we won't know until we go in for implantation. The good part is, I don't have to take as many injections and I will not have to have my ovaries stimulated which means for a healthier/happier pelvic region. It takes just as long, but I won't have to go into the doctor as much and have as many tests. Also, it is more flexible to when we have to go in for implantation which means I can actually plan and prepare!
    So when do we do this? Well, as soon as we want! But, she suggested to let me be emotionally ready and mentally ready. Which, any week prior to this, I definitely wasn't. We, also, found out this process doesn't cost as much, which means it won't take as long to save up for it! But foremost, we need to do it when God calls us to. And when we feel He has given us the peace to begin. And honestly, I'm not feeling rushed to start back into it.
     With the frozen embryo cycle, as they call it, there is only a 40% chance of implantation, so slightly less than a fresh cycle. They would implant both of the embryos if they survive the unfreezing process. Dr. Eblin stated that both her children were frozen babies, which was encouraging.
     I feel more at peace with this process. Alan said that he saw such a different attitude and peace about it in my face and that encouraged him. I guess, I know kinda what to expect now, and I have a different perspective. I went into the first one confident it would work and in this one, I am confident God's plan will work, even if we don't get pregnant again.
     And the inevitable, what we do if this doesn't work.....well, we have to start the whole process over like I did last time. We pray that we don't have to do that! But, we accept if we do. So, I have to go do one test before I can start. And we really aren't sure when we will begin because, like I said, I feel no rush. But, we will keep you posted! Prayers much appreciated!