Well, two weeks ago I began having intense itching of my soles of my feet and palms of my hands, as well as general itching all over. After it disrupted me from sleep for a few nights and having an upcoming appointment, I decided to mention it to my doctor (especially after Mom and Alan had done their research). I had tried benadryl and hydrocortisone cream which hadn't helped, at all. The only thing that seemed to help was cold packs on the bottom of my feet. Weird, I know.
So, like I said, I brought it up to my OB and she ordered some labs to be performed on my liver. So, we have been waiting on the results. My itching hasn't been as bad, but still am itching. Today, I got a call from my doctor herself, which is enough to freak any patient out! And she let me know that my bile acids and liver functions were elevated. This is called obstetrical cholestasis. This means that my bile from my liver/gallbladder is slow or not releasing. This builds up the levels in my blood which causes itching mostly but if it is severe enough you can have jaundice among other symptoms, but most likely just itching. It also can effect the babies. If it is not controlled and gets high enough, it can lead to fetal distress, preterm labor, or babies being stillborn or fetal death. She is now starting me on a medication to help decrease the levels of bile acids. Hopefully that will help not only with the itching, but with the possible complications, as well.
Also, next week I start my "two a weeks" which means I go to the doctor on Mondays and Thursdays for ultrasounds (because I have temperamental babies that don't like to stay on the fetal monitors) and now blood work and a check up. I was going to have to begin these anyway because of the gestational diabetes, but now I have to add in the blood work to keep watch over my liver. As well as, I have to make sure to be conscious to the movement of the babies on a daily basis.
For someone who had this pregnancy "under control" and was not going to take medications to save her life during pregnancy, it has definitely become a 180 of what I expected! I know all is in God's hands and we are just going to lie here and do what we are told. We are just praying for these little boys' safety and making it into this world plump and perfect! So, this is our latest update and we will keep trekking! Thank you, again, for the prayers!
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Superwoman has lost her flight
My mentality and personality has been that of Superwoman pretty much my whole adult life. If someone has told me they don't think I can do something or have too much on my plate, it just gives me energy and drive to prove everyone wrong. That has not been any different with my pregnancy life, as well.
When we first found out we were having twins, a lot of people's first reaction was "you are going to have to go on bed rest." I personally found this quite offensive. Why would you think that first off and why do you think I am inadequate to carry these babies full term while doing life? So, I put it in my mind, this was not going to happen and neither was me changing my daily routine. I am a workaholic. My boss told me that I would be out of commission at 5 months pregnant and I strove to prove him wrong, and I did! He gave me every opportunity to rest and put my feet up during my whole pregnancy and because I didn't want to "look like a bum or lazy" I would find other work tasks to complete during my "resting breaks." I managed our home, ran errands, worked, and tried to remain normal as much as possible. Even when I was initially placed on bed rest a few weeks ago, my doctor telling me "if we stop your contractions over the next 2 weeks, you may go back to work" made me strive and be the optimistic, I am going back to work. I even told mom to continue with planning a baby shower. I was dead set that I would be "normal" again and able to travel.
This all being said, "Superwoman" was knocked down. Yes, in the initial bed rest I rested, but it was a struggle to lie there and I spent a lot of time sitting and walking around doing things because I just couldn't give up control. We had a shower with Pepsi on Friday (which was amazing and I was so grateful for) and Saturday was our Labor and Delivery class. Now, I propped my feet up during both of these things, but probably did a lot of walking I shouldn't have. Sunday, I was worn out. I was lying down all day and extra good, but then contractions began to come more regularly. I was having them every 4 minutes and they were lasting longer than my previous contractions. After about 2-3 hours, through every "trick" I could think of, they settled down. On Monday, it was the same. I was "good" as I counted it. Alan went to work, I was at home and only got up to eat, and then around 3 pm, contractions began to be more regular again. This time they were lasting up to 2 minutes and coming every 4 minutes. I text Alan to let him know and that I was calling the doctor. We of course were told to get to the hospital.
What comes next was what I needed. A wake up call. A you aren't Superwoman so get off your high horse and realize this is reality. When we got to the hospital they hooked me up to monitors and confirmed I was in active labor. They then checked me. I had dilated. I had failed at being a protective mother for these babies and I messed up. I freaked out, began crying, and Alan gave me his stern "you can't get upset because it will only make things worse" speech. So needless to say we were admitted and started on Magnesium Sulfate and steroids. This was probably the hardest part to date. Not because of how the medications make you feel, but because I didn't know about the safety of my babies. The reality that they would be premature and who knows what kind of complications would entail. So, we prayed (which we already were doing) and we asked all of you to pray. And peace came.
You see, God has this funny way of working. We think we can do it all. We think we can control and prove and show how strong we are and what WE CAN DO. But the truth of the matter is we can't do any of that. I can't control whether these babies stay in me or not, neither can the doctors but God can. I have learned, again, that I need to rely on Him and His strength to get me through this. After the seriousness of this last event, I know that and I just hate that I was too stubborn and "superwoman" to get it before this. He says "rest in me, my child" and I need to follow through with that. Not, let me see how much I can do on my own and then I will rest.
So now, we are on permanent, strict bed rest until these two little boys make their arrival. And I am at peace with this. I am resting in my Father's arms. He has a plan for these boys and for me. He is allowing me to be okay with other people serving me, something I have never been too good at in the past. He is showing me that being in control isn't what I need, but resting in Him and His sovereignty provides an all consuming rest which is far better than anything else.
So, we rest. Thankfully I have my mom here throughout the week as Alan works and Alan's traveling scheduling has come to a screeching halt and he is here to take care of us, as well. Every time I stand up there is at least one voice asking "Is everything ok?" and I reassure them, it is just a pregnant woman's bladder that needs to be addressed, haha. Prayers have definitely gotten us through this far and continuing. Without prayer, I would not have the peace I have, right now. I would still be worrying over what week these babies would be born. Instead, I am just enjoying them kick and punch each other throughout the night and day from within me. Nothing seems like a rush, just in God's timing, all will be well. Thank you for the prayers and please continue as we walk (or lie) these next weeks, hopefully several, together.
This all being said, "Superwoman" was knocked down. Yes, in the initial bed rest I rested, but it was a struggle to lie there and I spent a lot of time sitting and walking around doing things because I just couldn't give up control. We had a shower with Pepsi on Friday (which was amazing and I was so grateful for) and Saturday was our Labor and Delivery class. Now, I propped my feet up during both of these things, but probably did a lot of walking I shouldn't have. Sunday, I was worn out. I was lying down all day and extra good, but then contractions began to come more regularly. I was having them every 4 minutes and they were lasting longer than my previous contractions. After about 2-3 hours, through every "trick" I could think of, they settled down. On Monday, it was the same. I was "good" as I counted it. Alan went to work, I was at home and only got up to eat, and then around 3 pm, contractions began to be more regular again. This time they were lasting up to 2 minutes and coming every 4 minutes. I text Alan to let him know and that I was calling the doctor. We of course were told to get to the hospital.
What comes next was what I needed. A wake up call. A you aren't Superwoman so get off your high horse and realize this is reality. When we got to the hospital they hooked me up to monitors and confirmed I was in active labor. They then checked me. I had dilated. I had failed at being a protective mother for these babies and I messed up. I freaked out, began crying, and Alan gave me his stern "you can't get upset because it will only make things worse" speech. So needless to say we were admitted and started on Magnesium Sulfate and steroids. This was probably the hardest part to date. Not because of how the medications make you feel, but because I didn't know about the safety of my babies. The reality that they would be premature and who knows what kind of complications would entail. So, we prayed (which we already were doing) and we asked all of you to pray. And peace came.
You see, God has this funny way of working. We think we can do it all. We think we can control and prove and show how strong we are and what WE CAN DO. But the truth of the matter is we can't do any of that. I can't control whether these babies stay in me or not, neither can the doctors but God can. I have learned, again, that I need to rely on Him and His strength to get me through this. After the seriousness of this last event, I know that and I just hate that I was too stubborn and "superwoman" to get it before this. He says "rest in me, my child" and I need to follow through with that. Not, let me see how much I can do on my own and then I will rest.
So now, we are on permanent, strict bed rest until these two little boys make their arrival. And I am at peace with this. I am resting in my Father's arms. He has a plan for these boys and for me. He is allowing me to be okay with other people serving me, something I have never been too good at in the past. He is showing me that being in control isn't what I need, but resting in Him and His sovereignty provides an all consuming rest which is far better than anything else.
So, we rest. Thankfully I have my mom here throughout the week as Alan works and Alan's traveling scheduling has come to a screeching halt and he is here to take care of us, as well. Every time I stand up there is at least one voice asking "Is everything ok?" and I reassure them, it is just a pregnant woman's bladder that needs to be addressed, haha. Prayers have definitely gotten us through this far and continuing. Without prayer, I would not have the peace I have, right now. I would still be worrying over what week these babies would be born. Instead, I am just enjoying them kick and punch each other throughout the night and day from within me. Nothing seems like a rush, just in God's timing, all will be well. Thank you for the prayers and please continue as we walk (or lie) these next weeks, hopefully several, together.
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