So, when's the next one?

     It's a question everyone asks.....after you get married, it's when's a baby coming? This question was always hard for me to hear because I didn't know the answer to that, or even if that was a possibility. Once we had the boys, I thought, I'm good. People would ask me if we wanted anymore and my thought was, "God has blessed us with these two and we are done." I was at piece with that. Now that the boys are getting older, a lot more people ask - "So, when is the next one?" "Are you wanting anymore?" "Aren't you going to try for a girl?" And, seeing a lot of my friends be pregnant and get pregnant and having babies, it has made it hard for me to answer.


      I wish I could just say, well, we are trying and if it happens it happens. But, life isn't that easy for us to have a baby. I won't lie. There are times now that I long for another baby. It is a desire. But, it isn't that easy. How would we make this happen? Do another round of in vitro? We would have to start all over since we don't have any more embryos and that is a lot of money and a chance for multiple embryos that I am not okay with not using. There is the option to adopt, but we haven't truly felt led to do this. Foster care is an option, too, but we are unsure of this option, as well. Then, it is the thought of truly being finished with children. We have four and we are aging and should we just be content?


      "When is the next one?" "You need a girl?" - pains to my heart and stinging takes place. Something I thought I was over once I had the boys. Infertility sucks. That's all I have to say. And even when you beat the odds and have a successful birth through infertility, it still isn't fun to know you are through. I still have secret hopes a miracle will happen like it does to others and we will be surprised with a miraculous pregnancy. But, the realistic person in me knows that isn't the case.


     This all being said, be careful when asking people when they are going to have a child or when they will have the next. You don't know their struggles. Even if they do have children, there may have been hardships in that. So in all, be sensitive to one another. Especially if you know they have had hardships and just rejoice in what is present instead of focusing on what is ahead.