Flexibility

FLEXIBILITY is probably one of the biggest challenges in IVF. Those of you who know me, know that I am a planner. One lesson God has continuously tried to teach me is that I need to lean on Him for HIS plan, not my own. This process has been another trying lesson in leaning on Him for His plan and allowing my stress level to not go through the roof when I can't tell people at work what my schedule looks like the next week.
      The way in vitro fertilization works, especially when you are on the injection portion, is that blood work and ultrasounds done every other day tell you what your next step is. Your injections, dosaging, days to come in, whether the procedure can continue or be cancelled is all dependent on that one day's results. You call your little voicemail at 3:30 PM every afternoon and get your plan for the next day, then you go into the office every other morning and the same process continues. Initially, we thought my retrieval would be at one point, which would have been very convenient as my doctor was on vacation that week, but now it looks to be later and I will miss work with a very busy surgery day and a working doctor. Hence, my stress level shoots through the roof. I try not to inconvenience people, I try to make my schedule work with everyone else's, and I try not to offend people.....a weakness in this regard. It's hard to be flexible as a working woman especially in neurosurgery. So, I'm learning. And one thing I am praying for and working on daily this week is changing my mindset. Not only towards flexibility, but towards making this situation my number one situation and not work. Taking what is good for me and hopefully a future baby into account over other people's feelings. Man is it hard! Especially when you are emotionally labile to begin with!
     I've been praying a lot extra this week on this subject and these verses have been my prayers in regards to our in vitro fertilization process and in regards to work:
   Phillipians 4:6-7 - ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
   Matthew 6:34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
   Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
    Matthew 11:28 - 30 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

It is so neat to see how memory verses from when I was young continue to come into play for my lowest moments. Praying these verses brings such peace and I know He is in control of my future. He will give me the answers on work when the time comes, but today, I need to focus on today, not what tomorrow brings. So, I think of my injections and my time with my husband relaxing and enjoying what we have today. I need to rejoice in this moment and this opportunity. Give myself the flexibility to enjoy today and give God the future.