Frustration

      So, frustration has hit....I went into the doctor's office today for what I assumed would be my last ultrasound and bloodwork before we went in for retrieval. Well, come to find out it wasn't. My fast growing follicles decided to slow down over the weekend and they are wanting me to wait another day. You may say, one day and you are frustrated? Well, yes....because I had a plan! Another way for God to show me I haven't learned my patience lesson or His timing. Never said I was a quick learner, and I am so glad God has the patience to handle me! My friend Nikki encouraged me today with what we like to now call ourselves (she can take total credit for this) soon to be former control freaks. We've started a club. And hopefully the soon to be will be sooner rather than later!
       So, I cried this morning. I tried to keep it in until I got into the car and called Alan. See, the day we were supposed to go in for retrieval was already an "off" day for me for work, pushing it back a day meant I had to cancel a full day of clinic and meant there was no chance for us to have implantation of our embryos on the weekend....which means more time off work.....wasn't my last post on me not worrying about work???? So, Alan, after hearing me ramble my issues, reminded me breathing is good, our future with children is our number one priority, and I needed to calm down and not worry about work. Some things are beyond our control. After about 10 minutes of crying, hormones and things out of my control (or not going my way) is not a good combination, Alan had me calm enough to head onto my days activities.
       I have noticed a lot of cramping lately, which is normal for the fact that both of my ovaries are HUGE! It is not exactly the most fun thing and doesn't hurt, just is uncomfortable. It worsens with activity, too, which is probably why I'm not supposed to exercises or lift!
    So, I get to go tomorrow for another ultrasound and blood work and will find out if I get to proceed with my retrieval just one day pushed back. I think both Alan and I are anxious for this portion to get here because it is what we've been working toward the whole time! So, I pray and pray that I don't get frustrated and don't let me emotions get the best of me. I just have to remember, in God's timing everything is perfect.....