My "Timehop" told me that a year ago today I blogged on being "three days away from implantation." I can't believe it. A year ago, I was three days from the biggest change of my life. It doesn't seem that long ago! And, to even imagine one year later that I would have not one, but two beautiful, miracle boys!
Wow, this has gone by fast! That is all I can say! These boys are growing quickly, especially over the past month! They are continuing to be quite the social babies. They love people (like their Momma) and are full of smiles and cooes. Over the past month, they have acknowledged each other. It is quite humorous. They stare each other down, laugh at each other, and have started "talking" to each other. The exersaucers are their new toy that they love to play in. They love looking at themselves in the mirror and smile and reach for that "other baby." Ayden is obsessed with himself in the mirror in his exersaucer. He will just stare and reach and talk forever. They are great traveling babies and as long as we are moving in the car, don't mind the car seat too much. It is nice because I have gotten to travel with Alan with them (though we are stuck in a hotel room it is nice being together as a family). We, also, got to experience two Thanksgivings with family with them. They loved all the attention and weren't put down for a minute both days. They even got to taste a little "mashed potato" for the first time….let's just say Zach is a huge fan and Ayden is not. I think we might have a picky eater.
They had their 5 month check up on Friday and they have gained 2 pounds a piece in two weeks! These boys love to eat, though they are still in the 25-50% for weight. Ayden is up to 14 lbs 11 oz and Zach is 16 lbs 7 oz. Yes, this is past triple their birth weights. Their doctor even had a moment telling them apart. They got four shots a piece and it is so funny watching how they take them. Ayden screams in pain and is over it. Zachary is so different. He is so sensitive and his feelings were definitely hurt with the shots, so his tears lasted. Every time someone new entered the room or passed by on our way out, that bottom lip came out and he began crying again. He wants all the sympathy he can get. Ayden is definitely easier to console!
After praying over Zachary and so many people praying for him, plus us working with him, he is holding his head up so well and standing when we put his feet on surfaces. This just "clicked" this past week and we are so excited. The neurologist and physical therapist wanted the boys to be evaluated for home therapy for early intervention for disabilities. Well, we had that screening yesterday. Both were evaluated and I had a calm about me. If it was last week you asked me, I would tell you that I was a nervous wreck because of Zach. I have always had a "feeling" there was something wrong. Well, prayer works miracles. Zach actually passed the screening better than Ayden (humor of God I tell you)! So, they both are on track developmentally and physically (for their corrected age) how they are supposed to without any concerns. It makes me so excited and praising God!
We, also, more importantly, dedicated the babies to raising them in a godly home this past Sunday. Alan and I both don't take this lightly. Having each of our parents there and my sister-in-law and her family (and my sister via internet), and Alan's cousin (and best friend) and his family there plus close friends meant a lot to us. Them being there just signified how they are supporting us and our children in growing a relationship with God and praying for them. It is an amazing thing to have this support.
It is a busy month ahead as we prepare for Christmas and my return to work. We are excited to spend the time with family and each other and cherish each moment we have. We look forward to continue watching these boys grow (which is bittersweet as I put away now over three totes of clothes they've grown out of). We wish you the Merriest of Christmas seasons and keeping Jesus first and enjoy family.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Unjustly Judged
The bringing of a baby into this world is pretty simple in the ideas of many people. You want to get pregnant, you try, get pregnant the first try. Your pregnancy is AMAZING, you love it and eat healthy or whatever your cravings desire at that moment. In coming up with a birth plan, you are going natural (who needs drugs anyway) and the delivery goes so smoothly. You instantly bond with your baby and she/he latches immediately to breast feed (because you know, that is the best and only option). You are so blessed because you stay in the hospital for 23 hours (as insurance allows) and you return home with your baby to be a stay at home mom and live a wonderful life. Oh, and your baby weight just drops off. Then, there is the other way of life.
In my experience, thus far, it has been almost ridiculous the looks and judging eyes I have received over certain things. Let me expand:
1. Natural vs Assisted - We couldn't get pregnant naturally. We tried for a year. When we went in to see what was going on, IVF was presented to us as our only option of having a biological child. A lot of people were supportive, and I am so grateful for that, but then there are those that weren't. AND, when telling people I was pregnant with twins, or even now when people ask if I have twins that run in my family (which please, does that really matter???) and I say, we had IVF, I still get disappointing looks. (I know that was the longest run on sentence, sorry English people!) I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I don't need you to judge me. This is how we have been able to be blessed to have our family. So, why judge how I get pregnant. That is not fair to me or any other woman struggling in the same way. There is enough emotion in seeing a "NOT PREGNANT" on that stick month by month that sends a depression through us, why add to that in making us feel guilty of our natural desire to have a biological child?
2. Natural vs Epidural vs C-section? What does it matter??? Why do women judge each other on how we decide to bring our babies into the world? I have friends who have birthed completely naturally and all I can say is, "More power to you." I went through 11 hours of labor with the twins without medication (not because I wanted to) and it was miserable. So, if that is your cup of tea, then you are superwoman. BUT, you are ALSO superwoman getting an epidural and birthing. Or heaven forbid something could be dangerously wrong or the baby be too big or breach or some other situation where a c-section is needed. Let me tell you, WE ARE SUPERWOMEN too! That was a major question when I was pregnant, "Are you going to try to go natural or have a c-section?" I almost felt like it was a "cop out" in me replying a c-section was most likely because of Ayden being breach. Why must I feel like I was less of a woman for my decision? It actually saved his life that I decided a c-section prior to the birth because of the complications we had in getting him out anyway!
3. Breast feeding vs. Formula - We all know what the doctor preaches. I'm in medicine, I know what is best. But women ask, "Are you going to breastfeed?" And heaven forbid you say you are using formula. It's like you are on a short walk to hell! It isn't easy to breastfeed, number 1. And some babies just don't want to latch or are even allergic. I was blessed enough to be able to give the boys some breastmilk for the first 11 weeks of their lives, but it was never enough to completely feed them. I remember walking into the NICU with my little supply while other moms brought in coolers full. I felt like not good enough of a mom or a failure, and why must I feel that way? I mean, yes, some was my own thought process and doing, but still. There is a judgmental overtone to moms who formula feed. I am sorry for ever doing that before I went through the process. If your baby is getting its nutrition, then that is all that is important. When it wasn't working for me, I had every person giving me "advice" on what I needed to do. I was on every supplement, tried every old wives' tale, etc and still, couldn't produce enough. Please don't judge other women because of their decisions on this, we all have our reasonings.
4. Staying at Home vs Going Back to work - Can I just say that if one more person gives me the judgmental, sappy eyes on this when I say I have to return to work, I might lose it (and this is probably my hormones driving that.). I cry about it almost every time I think about it, but I have to. Do you think most women would return to work (and especially as quick as we have to due to federal rules) if we didn't have to? It is such a blessing to stay at home and be able to be a full-time mom. I have loved the past almost 5 months of it and am blessed I can stay home for the first 6 months of their lives. BUT, we are not all able to do that. Why must women judge women on this matter? I am allowed to do both, we are allowed to follow both dreams. I dreamed when I was younger of being a stay at home mom and life circumstances don't allow that. It's not my dream, but it is reality. I'm sorry that my reality is not what you think is acceptable.
5. Baby weight - oh the joys of baby weight. I have friends who give birth and look like they did pre-pregnancy within a few days (I secretly envy them). I am not one of those people (nor have I ever been one to easily lose weight). Now, when the twins were born I lost 35 pounds before even leaving the hospital, but things shift. I think that it should be illegal for famous people to show their bodies 6 weeks later looking "tiny wasted" and perfect. It is such a discouragement for us all. I thought I would be in a lot better shape then I am in, but my focus hasn't been on losing weight, it has been my children, like it should be. I mean, I barely have time to shower every day much less get in a workout and eating is usually an afterthought! So, women, don't get discouraged when at 6 weeks postpartum you haven't bounced back to that bikini body. (And men, too, encourage your wives on how good they look) We don't have nannies, night nurses, trainers, nutritionists, and cooks to keep us looking fresh and allow us the time to spend 4 hours a day 7 days a week working out to get trim and look well-rested. AND, if you haven't had a baby, please don't try to give us dieting advice. I know how to lose weight. I know what works for me and it is just not my top priority right now. Once you have kids, you'll understand it isn't as easy as it is pre-kid. (Not trying to be mean, I promise.)
I'm not trying to be an angry person, and honestly I'm not angry, but why must women judge other women on these things. We are all mothers and more than anything need encouragement. I can't think of what I need more than that. It is what has gotten me through my hardest moments. Not the judgmental glares or statements, but encouragement that the way things happen are okay. I am still a mother no matter how I got here or what I have to do to live. God has blessed me and many of us to be mothers. So, next time you are around a pregnant woman/new mom just love on her. Who cares if she had IVF with a c-section, feeding her baby formula and is returning to work. She still goes through the same emotions each and every other woman goes through. Let's pray for each other and encourage each other. Take the focus off of the "perfect' mentality of how things "should be" and accept each other for the way they are.
In my experience, thus far, it has been almost ridiculous the looks and judging eyes I have received over certain things. Let me expand:
1. Natural vs Assisted - We couldn't get pregnant naturally. We tried for a year. When we went in to see what was going on, IVF was presented to us as our only option of having a biological child. A lot of people were supportive, and I am so grateful for that, but then there are those that weren't. AND, when telling people I was pregnant with twins, or even now when people ask if I have twins that run in my family (which please, does that really matter???) and I say, we had IVF, I still get disappointing looks. (I know that was the longest run on sentence, sorry English people!) I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I don't need you to judge me. This is how we have been able to be blessed to have our family. So, why judge how I get pregnant. That is not fair to me or any other woman struggling in the same way. There is enough emotion in seeing a "NOT PREGNANT" on that stick month by month that sends a depression through us, why add to that in making us feel guilty of our natural desire to have a biological child?
2. Natural vs Epidural vs C-section? What does it matter??? Why do women judge each other on how we decide to bring our babies into the world? I have friends who have birthed completely naturally and all I can say is, "More power to you." I went through 11 hours of labor with the twins without medication (not because I wanted to) and it was miserable. So, if that is your cup of tea, then you are superwoman. BUT, you are ALSO superwoman getting an epidural and birthing. Or heaven forbid something could be dangerously wrong or the baby be too big or breach or some other situation where a c-section is needed. Let me tell you, WE ARE SUPERWOMEN too! That was a major question when I was pregnant, "Are you going to try to go natural or have a c-section?" I almost felt like it was a "cop out" in me replying a c-section was most likely because of Ayden being breach. Why must I feel like I was less of a woman for my decision? It actually saved his life that I decided a c-section prior to the birth because of the complications we had in getting him out anyway!
3. Breast feeding vs. Formula - We all know what the doctor preaches. I'm in medicine, I know what is best. But women ask, "Are you going to breastfeed?" And heaven forbid you say you are using formula. It's like you are on a short walk to hell! It isn't easy to breastfeed, number 1. And some babies just don't want to latch or are even allergic. I was blessed enough to be able to give the boys some breastmilk for the first 11 weeks of their lives, but it was never enough to completely feed them. I remember walking into the NICU with my little supply while other moms brought in coolers full. I felt like not good enough of a mom or a failure, and why must I feel that way? I mean, yes, some was my own thought process and doing, but still. There is a judgmental overtone to moms who formula feed. I am sorry for ever doing that before I went through the process. If your baby is getting its nutrition, then that is all that is important. When it wasn't working for me, I had every person giving me "advice" on what I needed to do. I was on every supplement, tried every old wives' tale, etc and still, couldn't produce enough. Please don't judge other women because of their decisions on this, we all have our reasonings.
4. Staying at Home vs Going Back to work - Can I just say that if one more person gives me the judgmental, sappy eyes on this when I say I have to return to work, I might lose it (and this is probably my hormones driving that.). I cry about it almost every time I think about it, but I have to. Do you think most women would return to work (and especially as quick as we have to due to federal rules) if we didn't have to? It is such a blessing to stay at home and be able to be a full-time mom. I have loved the past almost 5 months of it and am blessed I can stay home for the first 6 months of their lives. BUT, we are not all able to do that. Why must women judge women on this matter? I am allowed to do both, we are allowed to follow both dreams. I dreamed when I was younger of being a stay at home mom and life circumstances don't allow that. It's not my dream, but it is reality. I'm sorry that my reality is not what you think is acceptable.
5. Baby weight - oh the joys of baby weight. I have friends who give birth and look like they did pre-pregnancy within a few days (I secretly envy them). I am not one of those people (nor have I ever been one to easily lose weight). Now, when the twins were born I lost 35 pounds before even leaving the hospital, but things shift. I think that it should be illegal for famous people to show their bodies 6 weeks later looking "tiny wasted" and perfect. It is such a discouragement for us all. I thought I would be in a lot better shape then I am in, but my focus hasn't been on losing weight, it has been my children, like it should be. I mean, I barely have time to shower every day much less get in a workout and eating is usually an afterthought! So, women, don't get discouraged when at 6 weeks postpartum you haven't bounced back to that bikini body. (And men, too, encourage your wives on how good they look) We don't have nannies, night nurses, trainers, nutritionists, and cooks to keep us looking fresh and allow us the time to spend 4 hours a day 7 days a week working out to get trim and look well-rested. AND, if you haven't had a baby, please don't try to give us dieting advice. I know how to lose weight. I know what works for me and it is just not my top priority right now. Once you have kids, you'll understand it isn't as easy as it is pre-kid. (Not trying to be mean, I promise.)
I'm not trying to be an angry person, and honestly I'm not angry, but why must women judge other women on these things. We are all mothers and more than anything need encouragement. I can't think of what I need more than that. It is what has gotten me through my hardest moments. Not the judgmental glares or statements, but encouragement that the way things happen are okay. I am still a mother no matter how I got here or what I have to do to live. God has blessed me and many of us to be mothers. So, next time you are around a pregnant woman/new mom just love on her. Who cares if she had IVF with a c-section, feeding her baby formula and is returning to work. She still goes through the same emotions each and every other woman goes through. Let's pray for each other and encourage each other. Take the focus off of the "perfect' mentality of how things "should be" and accept each other for the way they are.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Neurodevelopment Check
Since the boys are "premie" babies and spent a stint in the NICU, the neonatologist and neurologist like to do a neurodevelopment check when the babies are between 4-5 months old. Our pediatrician had told us they had written this to her in their discharge summary and we would receive a letter. So, we received the letter two weeks ago stating our appointment date. I have been the skeptical one even going. It said we would meet with the nurse, nurse practitioner, physical therapist and neurologist. To me, it was just a way to charge my insurance. My babies are amazing, doing things normal four month olds would be doing (or at least a lot of things). So, I went in with an apprehensive attitude.
So, Alan went along with me to the boys appointment this past Friday. Of course it was a morning appointment, which was right during the boys' nap time. This made for lethargic, unhappy babies. The physical therapist came into the room first. She looked at Zachary first. She asked me a lot of questions about if he was doing things and tested him on several things, as well. She was concerned because he wasn't holding his head up like he was supposed to while he went from lying to sitting. Also, he wouldn't stand up for her when he was placed on his feet. She said this was concerning and gave us some exercises to work on with him. She, also, is calling to get in home physical therapy for him. HOWEVER, he did roll over from his tummy to his back for the first time, second time, and third time while lying on the table! (Now he hasn't done it since he has gotten home, but still!). He, also, was good at tracking objects with his eyes.
Ayden was next. He of course showed off - how he can jump when he puts his feet on the table, grabbing things, and way too active. The only thing she said about him was that his muscles are really tight (which is quite funny since his pediatrician and the GI surgeon both say he has a tight butt, as well). We are going to have to do stretches with him daily to loosen his hamstrings.
The nurse practitioner looked at them next and it seems everything she checked out was good. They actually liked her and smiled. Then came in the neonatologist/neurologist. He checked out each boy. He confirmed to us that Zachary had a brain bleed (which I told him we were never informed of this in the hospital and not until my pediatrician informed me which I was unhappy about). He said it had cleared by his discharge. As well as, he may have suffered a seizure in the hospital….another bit of information that was new to me. I got pretty emotional and upset because I had not known these things. He said that Zachary is a little behind which may be because of the bleed or may be because of the fact he is just a little lazy, but either way, we will need a follow up appointment in 3 months and at home therapy. Ayden is doing really well. He is right on track. He will have a follow up appointment, as well.
Oh, and a side note - these boys have GAINED SOME WEIGHT! Zachary is up to 15 lbs 3 oz and Ayden is up to 13 lbs 13 oz. They love their food!
On the way home and since the appointment I have had a hard time. I have worried about Zach since his birth. I can't even count the times I've asked Alan and my mom if they thought something could be wrong with Zach and they just telling me he is lazy. I have prayed and prayed and continue to pray. He is kinda lazy. He loves to sleep and when he plays, well, he just gets tired quicker - I mean have you seen his belly?? He has actually met the cooing and laughing and attention milestones before his brother. But, the jury is still out on anything. So, I have to just keep praying that there are no true residual effects of his brain bleed or possible seizure.
These boys are just precious and absolutely hilarious. They have noticed themselves in the mirror the past few days and get really excited about those babies laughing and talking back to them. They are also loving to see each other (FINALLY!). My time is nearing for me to go back to work and I am struggling with even thinking of it, but enjoying each moment with these boys. They are definitely starting to eat more and interested in what everyone else is eating. It's just so crazy how fast they are growing. I'm just going to keep believing my babies are perfect, because that is how God made him. They are such sweet boys.
So, Alan went along with me to the boys appointment this past Friday. Of course it was a morning appointment, which was right during the boys' nap time. This made for lethargic, unhappy babies. The physical therapist came into the room first. She looked at Zachary first. She asked me a lot of questions about if he was doing things and tested him on several things, as well. She was concerned because he wasn't holding his head up like he was supposed to while he went from lying to sitting. Also, he wouldn't stand up for her when he was placed on his feet. She said this was concerning and gave us some exercises to work on with him. She, also, is calling to get in home physical therapy for him. HOWEVER, he did roll over from his tummy to his back for the first time, second time, and third time while lying on the table! (Now he hasn't done it since he has gotten home, but still!). He, also, was good at tracking objects with his eyes.
Ayden was next. He of course showed off - how he can jump when he puts his feet on the table, grabbing things, and way too active. The only thing she said about him was that his muscles are really tight (which is quite funny since his pediatrician and the GI surgeon both say he has a tight butt, as well). We are going to have to do stretches with him daily to loosen his hamstrings.
The nurse practitioner looked at them next and it seems everything she checked out was good. They actually liked her and smiled. Then came in the neonatologist/neurologist. He checked out each boy. He confirmed to us that Zachary had a brain bleed (which I told him we were never informed of this in the hospital and not until my pediatrician informed me which I was unhappy about). He said it had cleared by his discharge. As well as, he may have suffered a seizure in the hospital….another bit of information that was new to me. I got pretty emotional and upset because I had not known these things. He said that Zachary is a little behind which may be because of the bleed or may be because of the fact he is just a little lazy, but either way, we will need a follow up appointment in 3 months and at home therapy. Ayden is doing really well. He is right on track. He will have a follow up appointment, as well.
Oh, and a side note - these boys have GAINED SOME WEIGHT! Zachary is up to 15 lbs 3 oz and Ayden is up to 13 lbs 13 oz. They love their food!
On the way home and since the appointment I have had a hard time. I have worried about Zach since his birth. I can't even count the times I've asked Alan and my mom if they thought something could be wrong with Zach and they just telling me he is lazy. I have prayed and prayed and continue to pray. He is kinda lazy. He loves to sleep and when he plays, well, he just gets tired quicker - I mean have you seen his belly?? He has actually met the cooing and laughing and attention milestones before his brother. But, the jury is still out on anything. So, I have to just keep praying that there are no true residual effects of his brain bleed or possible seizure.
These boys are just precious and absolutely hilarious. They have noticed themselves in the mirror the past few days and get really excited about those babies laughing and talking back to them. They are also loving to see each other (FINALLY!). My time is nearing for me to go back to work and I am struggling with even thinking of it, but enjoying each moment with these boys. They are definitely starting to eat more and interested in what everyone else is eating. It's just so crazy how fast they are growing. I'm just going to keep believing my babies are perfect, because that is how God made him. They are such sweet boys.
Monday, November 17, 2014
The True Meaning of Holidays
I've mentioned it before, I am quite a sentimental human being. On top of that, I get just as excited when holidays come around as I'm sure any kid (I thank my Daddy for that). We decorate to the ultimate degree (5 or 6 Christmas trees in the house growing up), but, that isn't what I want to especially address today. See, lately, I've heard way too many times that "Holidays are just another day of the year." Or "I'm too busy with work." or "Live too far away." or "We just don't get along to spend holidays together." And honestly, this saddens me more than I can imagine.
First, Holidays. I'm talking Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, the whole shebang are all based on something. Easter isn't just another day, it is the celebration of the rising of our Lord from the tomb. Thanksgiving, celebration of thanks for all of our blessings in this country. Christmas, the birth of our Savior (even though it has been secularized into Santa and other customs, there is a spiritual beginning). Fourth of July, our freedom. And so on, and so on. So, to say they are just another day is, well, negating anything of any belief. And honestly, that is sad that you have to think that way and there is no joy in your life to celebrate something.
Secondly, and really my secondary belief, is that holidays are for families. They are supposed to all get together and just enjoy each other. Now, my family is a prime example of how we are scattered near and far. But, I can tell you that my most treasured memories are those that we drove the 14 hours to South Georgia every year to spend with family at each holiday. Also, it is a time where people need to mature up a little and get over bitterness or grudges. How hard is it to put things behind you for a few hours or a few days to truly be able to enjoy family and make memories? I mean, I am not asking you to be best friends with every single person in your family, but don't act like we are in high school and ignore or not show up because one person made you upset 10 years ago by beating you in a cooking competition or stole a toy soldier from your room when you were 7. That's not what family is about. I wish my family was closer together so we could spend time more frequently together, but it just isn't that way. And our times together are just so sweet and are way too short. It is so great seeing people you don't see all year and double over laughing from memories past. Then it is sad to see those that choose not to be apart of family because of their pre-determined idea of how miserable they will be because so-and-so will be there or they are different than others. It just makes me so sad to see people hurt themselves by not coming to family events. They will not admit to it, but, loneliness is there, I am sure of it. Also, family just isn't blood relatives, but friends too. Including those that have no one close and involve them in your family is only spreading the joy that we should all have….my philosophy has always been the more the merrier! And I have to say the years we have been apart of the "Parson Family Thanksgiving" when we can't make it to our own family events has become a tradition I am going to miss.
Thirdly, food. Now, we all know that I do not lack in eating, nor anyone in my family (sorry folks). But man, that is one reason why I love my family! We have some of the best cooks in the world! And, NO ONE can be unhappy around some good cooking and amazing desserts. Have you ever seen someone eating something good that is mad? Ham, turkey, barbecue, casseroles, pies, cakes, and every side you can ever think of…I don't even attempt diets when holidays are around. If for any reason, put aside your differences and just enjoy a good meal…you may surprise yourself at how much fun you will have.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are fastly approaching as we all know. I am truly excited this year because it is my first year with my own children to enjoy it (though they won't remember one thing about it), but also because it is the first year that we will have both holidays with both sides of our families. I live for this. I love making memories and I am so excited that my children, nephews, and step-kids can have memories that will last for years to come. It's not about gifts (though I love watching the joy on people's faces as they open them), it is about the quality time with those we love and making memories with them. It is soaking in each moment so that one day, because yes, one day, someone will no longer be here to enjoy them with us and we want to remember those moments. It is laughing until tears roll down your cheeks at stories from years past. And it is watching new relationships form as a new generation arises below us.
See, the true meaning of Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birth. God's love for us in sending his Son began a reason in of itself for us to celebrate daily. Each day isn't just "another day" they are all reasons to celebrate. But, in our world, people have set aside days where we can truly relax and commemorate those days. So, this year, I challenge you not to treat holidays as just another day or not attend a family event because someone has upset you, but embrace it all. Let yourself go and enjoy people, the ones who love you and who think you are weird and still want to be around you (whether you believe it or not). Don't let your own insecurities get to you this holiday season. Embrace your family and friends and loved ones. Make memories. It's what it's all about.
And if you need somewhere to spend holidays, know our door is always open :)
First, Holidays. I'm talking Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, the whole shebang are all based on something. Easter isn't just another day, it is the celebration of the rising of our Lord from the tomb. Thanksgiving, celebration of thanks for all of our blessings in this country. Christmas, the birth of our Savior (even though it has been secularized into Santa and other customs, there is a spiritual beginning). Fourth of July, our freedom. And so on, and so on. So, to say they are just another day is, well, negating anything of any belief. And honestly, that is sad that you have to think that way and there is no joy in your life to celebrate something.
Secondly, and really my secondary belief, is that holidays are for families. They are supposed to all get together and just enjoy each other. Now, my family is a prime example of how we are scattered near and far. But, I can tell you that my most treasured memories are those that we drove the 14 hours to South Georgia every year to spend with family at each holiday. Also, it is a time where people need to mature up a little and get over bitterness or grudges. How hard is it to put things behind you for a few hours or a few days to truly be able to enjoy family and make memories? I mean, I am not asking you to be best friends with every single person in your family, but don't act like we are in high school and ignore or not show up because one person made you upset 10 years ago by beating you in a cooking competition or stole a toy soldier from your room when you were 7. That's not what family is about. I wish my family was closer together so we could spend time more frequently together, but it just isn't that way. And our times together are just so sweet and are way too short. It is so great seeing people you don't see all year and double over laughing from memories past. Then it is sad to see those that choose not to be apart of family because of their pre-determined idea of how miserable they will be because so-and-so will be there or they are different than others. It just makes me so sad to see people hurt themselves by not coming to family events. They will not admit to it, but, loneliness is there, I am sure of it. Also, family just isn't blood relatives, but friends too. Including those that have no one close and involve them in your family is only spreading the joy that we should all have….my philosophy has always been the more the merrier! And I have to say the years we have been apart of the "Parson Family Thanksgiving" when we can't make it to our own family events has become a tradition I am going to miss.
Thirdly, food. Now, we all know that I do not lack in eating, nor anyone in my family (sorry folks). But man, that is one reason why I love my family! We have some of the best cooks in the world! And, NO ONE can be unhappy around some good cooking and amazing desserts. Have you ever seen someone eating something good that is mad? Ham, turkey, barbecue, casseroles, pies, cakes, and every side you can ever think of…I don't even attempt diets when holidays are around. If for any reason, put aside your differences and just enjoy a good meal…you may surprise yourself at how much fun you will have.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are fastly approaching as we all know. I am truly excited this year because it is my first year with my own children to enjoy it (though they won't remember one thing about it), but also because it is the first year that we will have both holidays with both sides of our families. I live for this. I love making memories and I am so excited that my children, nephews, and step-kids can have memories that will last for years to come. It's not about gifts (though I love watching the joy on people's faces as they open them), it is about the quality time with those we love and making memories with them. It is soaking in each moment so that one day, because yes, one day, someone will no longer be here to enjoy them with us and we want to remember those moments. It is laughing until tears roll down your cheeks at stories from years past. And it is watching new relationships form as a new generation arises below us.
See, the true meaning of Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birth. God's love for us in sending his Son began a reason in of itself for us to celebrate daily. Each day isn't just "another day" they are all reasons to celebrate. But, in our world, people have set aside days where we can truly relax and commemorate those days. So, this year, I challenge you not to treat holidays as just another day or not attend a family event because someone has upset you, but embrace it all. Let yourself go and enjoy people, the ones who love you and who think you are weird and still want to be around you (whether you believe it or not). Don't let your own insecurities get to you this holiday season. Embrace your family and friends and loved ones. Make memories. It's what it's all about.
And if you need somewhere to spend holidays, know our door is always open :)
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Life With Twins
Life is crazy with twins. I am sure any twin parent can attest. It is all about controlled chaos though. Schedules are my best friend. When we get off our schedule, it is brutal. For all of us. Alan, actually, learned last night why I am so strict on the babies finishing their bottles at night….it isn't fun waking up only a few hours later instead of sleeping through the night. Mornings are our best time. After our first bottle feed between 6-7 AM, the babies go back to sleep until 10-11 AM, which is a wonderful thing. When they wake up, they are the happiest of the day. Cooing and playing and smiles galore. Afternoons are a little chancier. And if you think you have a chance after 4 PM to guess moods, think again!
Going out in public has become a feat in itself, as well. I've only forgotten the pacis once and nipples to the bottles once. They usually are pretty good as long as we are moving. I try to keep them in their carseats in their stroller as much as possible, but when grocery shopping it is easier to put one in the buggy in the carseat and wear the other one in the baby bjorn. And, like all things, we do it all quickly.
It is quite funny going out with the boys. I actually took them when I went to vote the other day. While standing in line the man behind me counted how many times I was asked certain questions. Now let me preface this with I had blue blankets on the boys. He said to me, "You just need to make a sign. Yes, they are twins. No, they are two boys. They are 16 weeks old. No, they are not identical." And, that is pretty much the questions I answer on a repetitive basis. He had counted over 20 times while in line for 45 minutes with people who were standing right beside each other. It, also, is like a moving spectacle. The "aw, twins" we get always make me smile. Someone told me before they were born to be prepared for people always looking at us and saying something. They were right! I don't mind it one bit, it makes me smile, and also laugh at times.
Like I said previously, schedules are our best friend. When we get off this due to sickness or one baby not cooperating, it is ROUGH. When you get to feed them at the same time and put them down to sleep at the same time, so much more can get done in the day! And, I have learned how to do all things QUICKLY in that nap time. Because you never know how long it is going to last. Thankful for advice from friends, we have developed our nighttime routine which has helped get the babies to sleep through the night. And yes, when you have twins, the best thing to do is feed them at the same time. It isn't hard.
But, what I have learned with the life of twins is a dirty house is okay and I can't freak out or fuss if everything isn't in perfect condition. Laundry may go undone, dusting lacking, and vacuuming just a dream. As long as babies are fed, bottles washed, and my children happy, life is good.
I have wonderful boys. They are such good babies and I am beyond blessed with this. They are sweet and love everyone. They love to "talk" to you and think they are hilarious. I couldn't imagine twins any other way. It's so fun to watch their continued personalities come out. Zach is the more sensitive of the two and his feelings are hurt pretty quickly. He also has quite the temper that goes 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds. He loves to talk and be verbal. He also loves his sleep. We have had a few 10 hour sleep nights already. Ayden is a little quieter on a daily basis, but when he gets upset, he has a high pitch cry that can pierce anyone's ears! He is a mobile little thing and loves moving his arms and legs all of the time. He continues to love being a social being. They are both snugglers. They are no longer premie looking and Ayden has tripled his birth weight (something he is supposed to do by the age of 1, not 3 months). Zach is one pound from tripling his birthweight. We are eaters! Enjoying my moments with them.
Going out in public has become a feat in itself, as well. I've only forgotten the pacis once and nipples to the bottles once. They usually are pretty good as long as we are moving. I try to keep them in their carseats in their stroller as much as possible, but when grocery shopping it is easier to put one in the buggy in the carseat and wear the other one in the baby bjorn. And, like all things, we do it all quickly.
It is quite funny going out with the boys. I actually took them when I went to vote the other day. While standing in line the man behind me counted how many times I was asked certain questions. Now let me preface this with I had blue blankets on the boys. He said to me, "You just need to make a sign. Yes, they are twins. No, they are two boys. They are 16 weeks old. No, they are not identical." And, that is pretty much the questions I answer on a repetitive basis. He had counted over 20 times while in line for 45 minutes with people who were standing right beside each other. It, also, is like a moving spectacle. The "aw, twins" we get always make me smile. Someone told me before they were born to be prepared for people always looking at us and saying something. They were right! I don't mind it one bit, it makes me smile, and also laugh at times.
Like I said previously, schedules are our best friend. When we get off this due to sickness or one baby not cooperating, it is ROUGH. When you get to feed them at the same time and put them down to sleep at the same time, so much more can get done in the day! And, I have learned how to do all things QUICKLY in that nap time. Because you never know how long it is going to last. Thankful for advice from friends, we have developed our nighttime routine which has helped get the babies to sleep through the night. And yes, when you have twins, the best thing to do is feed them at the same time. It isn't hard.
But, what I have learned with the life of twins is a dirty house is okay and I can't freak out or fuss if everything isn't in perfect condition. Laundry may go undone, dusting lacking, and vacuuming just a dream. As long as babies are fed, bottles washed, and my children happy, life is good.
I have wonderful boys. They are such good babies and I am beyond blessed with this. They are sweet and love everyone. They love to "talk" to you and think they are hilarious. I couldn't imagine twins any other way. It's so fun to watch their continued personalities come out. Zach is the more sensitive of the two and his feelings are hurt pretty quickly. He also has quite the temper that goes 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds. He loves to talk and be verbal. He also loves his sleep. We have had a few 10 hour sleep nights already. Ayden is a little quieter on a daily basis, but when he gets upset, he has a high pitch cry that can pierce anyone's ears! He is a mobile little thing and loves moving his arms and legs all of the time. He continues to love being a social being. They are both snugglers. They are no longer premie looking and Ayden has tripled his birth weight (something he is supposed to do by the age of 1, not 3 months). Zach is one pound from tripling his birthweight. We are eaters! Enjoying my moments with them.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Cough and Sneeze Stay Away Please
It is officially the start of RSV season on November 1st. They have moved it back from the month of October, so we had an extra month to actually be able to get out and enjoy the weather. This disease is a very dangerous one in premies. It is the leading cause of pediatric intensive care stays in the hospital during November until February. It isn't dangerous in adults and most of us either suffer from this at some point during the winter months with just cold symptoms or are carriers. Even though our boys don't look like premies anymore, they are still at a higher risk. Just like they are at a higher risk for any type of infection…and sometimes even I forget that because they are such big babies.
So, that being said, for all adults and children alike, if you or your child feel like the sniffles are coming on, or a catch in your throat or are beginning to sneeze or cough - stay away from all little babies. Their mommies will thank you. Though we want you to hold and gawk over our babies, we are not going to be happy with you in the aftermath when we are up all night with babies that can't breathe and sleep and may have to rush them to the emergency room. This is, also, why it is SO important to wash your hands frequently and DEFINITELY wash your hands or use sanitizer before touching or holding a baby. And though we all love those little hands and feet of a baby, please refrain from touching them with yours or their faces because it is just an instant way of germs to get into their mouths and increase their risk of being sick.
One thing I love that the NICU did at Centennial where the boys stayed was give classes for the parents during the week every other week. One of those classes was a RSV class. At the end of the class we were handed out "Stop" signs to put on the carseats that read "Please wash your hands before touching mine." If you have seen us out and about, then you have seen these on their carseats. Thankfully it helps some with people doing just that, but other times it doesn't. So, before you touch any baby, please step back and take a moment to think. Think about how you feel (physically), if you've been around someone sick recently or someone in your home is sick then be extra careful in being around babies, think about if you've washed your hands, and then go ahead, if you are clear in all of those areas, love on the babies.
All of that being said, we have gotten to experience the past 4 days our first sickness in the Swartwood household. The boys have come down with the dreaded GI bug that has been going around. It is so sad to see these little ones dealing with it, though I have to admit they are taking it like champs! So, since we are back in town and at our house, we are sitting in quarantine and riding it out at home. Trying to fill up on some Pedialite and plenty of rest! It just reminds me that I can't go out and do like we used to do (though we have cut back quite a bit) and even though I want to be social in all events, sometimes we just need to stay home.
Lessons we can all learn this time of year to help everyone.
So, that being said, for all adults and children alike, if you or your child feel like the sniffles are coming on, or a catch in your throat or are beginning to sneeze or cough - stay away from all little babies. Their mommies will thank you. Though we want you to hold and gawk over our babies, we are not going to be happy with you in the aftermath when we are up all night with babies that can't breathe and sleep and may have to rush them to the emergency room. This is, also, why it is SO important to wash your hands frequently and DEFINITELY wash your hands or use sanitizer before touching or holding a baby. And though we all love those little hands and feet of a baby, please refrain from touching them with yours or their faces because it is just an instant way of germs to get into their mouths and increase their risk of being sick.
One thing I love that the NICU did at Centennial where the boys stayed was give classes for the parents during the week every other week. One of those classes was a RSV class. At the end of the class we were handed out "Stop" signs to put on the carseats that read "Please wash your hands before touching mine." If you have seen us out and about, then you have seen these on their carseats. Thankfully it helps some with people doing just that, but other times it doesn't. So, before you touch any baby, please step back and take a moment to think. Think about how you feel (physically), if you've been around someone sick recently or someone in your home is sick then be extra careful in being around babies, think about if you've washed your hands, and then go ahead, if you are clear in all of those areas, love on the babies.
All of that being said, we have gotten to experience the past 4 days our first sickness in the Swartwood household. The boys have come down with the dreaded GI bug that has been going around. It is so sad to see these little ones dealing with it, though I have to admit they are taking it like champs! So, since we are back in town and at our house, we are sitting in quarantine and riding it out at home. Trying to fill up on some Pedialite and plenty of rest! It just reminds me that I can't go out and do like we used to do (though we have cut back quite a bit) and even though I want to be social in all events, sometimes we just need to stay home.
Lessons we can all learn this time of year to help everyone.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
12 Weeks Old
It's so weird to think that 12 weeks ago today, these two precious little boys were born into this world. It has gone by way too fast! To think we waited to what seemed like forever to tell everyone the news we were pregnant at 12 weeks, their first twelve weeks of life has flown by way too fast. They are amazing little guys.
Their little personalities continue to come out and shine through. So, for my recollection in years to come, I am going to talk about them :)
Oh my sweet Zachary Barrett. In utero, he was my laid back child. I hardly felt him move and he let me lie on my left side to sleep without pitching a "fit" like his brother. He was always asleep in ultrasounds and was not easily bothered. This trend continued in the NICU. He was the laid back "lazy" boy. Not much startled him and he could finish a bottle without even opening an eye. He slept all of the time and we hardly heard anything out of him. Bring him home, and he blossomed! He found his voice quickly and became quick to let us know when he is hungry, that he doesn't like to be naked, and he definitely doesn't like to be laid on his back! He is my first child to start "cooing" and on a regular basis. He talks to us every day and about so many different things. He is quite the snuggle bug, too. He loves lying on your chest and I believe would be snuggling up to someone 24/7 if it was allowed. He smiles when seeing his Daddy and loves those cuddles. He is such a sweet baby. That being said, my mom says he is like me because he is sweet but has quite the temper. He is QUICK to let us know he isn't happy and learned quickly how to kick his legs, scream, hold his breath, and arch his back in revolt against whatever he doesn't like. He loves his paci and usually goes to bed really easily (hopefully that will continue). No matter how hard we try though, he does not like lying on his back, so he is a belly baby. He is really good at self-soothing, as well.
On to my Ayden Jackson. In utero, he was quite temperamental. He was quick to kick and punch when there was pressure on his "side" of the womb. He was continuously kicking his brother in his head and always on the move. We had to chase him around on ultrasounds. He did not like me to lie on my right side (which was his) and made this known nightly! In the NICU, he continued to be temperamental. He was quick to let all the nurses know when he was wet, hungry, or just needing attention. He is one that loves to be awake and doesn't want to miss a second of life - he continues this today. At home, he loves to lie on his back and watch the butterflies and lights of his play mat. He has yet to vocalize when he is trying to talk to us, but he sure knows how to smile and has started to socially smile. He thinks he is hilarious and in the middle of the night one night after feeding, he began chuckling laughing in his sleep. Alan and I loved it. He has developed a best friend in the fan in our living room and barely looks away from it when he is in the vicinity. His Lolli has determined if he talks to it before her, he is in trouble. He has become quite the laid back child. He will let you lie him down to get something done (as long as it isn't when he is hungry). He isn't as good at self-soothing, but is learning to pretty well and he is not as in-love with his paci as his brother. He loves to cuddle, as well, but would much rather look at you then lie on your chest.
It is just amazing how quickly they grow and develop. We saw a newborn the other day and I noticed how big my boys really are. It is bittersweet! They both are in 0-3 month clothes and quickly growing out of them. They are past double their birth weights and seem to be gaining quickly towards triple. I am trying to slow down the time, but we all know that isn't possible. We are truly blessed by our Savior for these boys. They are such miracles and we are so grateful.
Twelve weeks….it's amazing how much changes in pregnancy and in the first twelve weeks of life. The miracle of God is seen in each of these scenarios. We are looking forward to the next twelve weeks and praying it doesn't go by too quickly but that our boys continue to stay healthy through it all.
Their little personalities continue to come out and shine through. So, for my recollection in years to come, I am going to talk about them :)
Oh my sweet Zachary Barrett. In utero, he was my laid back child. I hardly felt him move and he let me lie on my left side to sleep without pitching a "fit" like his brother. He was always asleep in ultrasounds and was not easily bothered. This trend continued in the NICU. He was the laid back "lazy" boy. Not much startled him and he could finish a bottle without even opening an eye. He slept all of the time and we hardly heard anything out of him. Bring him home, and he blossomed! He found his voice quickly and became quick to let us know when he is hungry, that he doesn't like to be naked, and he definitely doesn't like to be laid on his back! He is my first child to start "cooing" and on a regular basis. He talks to us every day and about so many different things. He is quite the snuggle bug, too. He loves lying on your chest and I believe would be snuggling up to someone 24/7 if it was allowed. He smiles when seeing his Daddy and loves those cuddles. He is such a sweet baby. That being said, my mom says he is like me because he is sweet but has quite the temper. He is QUICK to let us know he isn't happy and learned quickly how to kick his legs, scream, hold his breath, and arch his back in revolt against whatever he doesn't like. He loves his paci and usually goes to bed really easily (hopefully that will continue). No matter how hard we try though, he does not like lying on his back, so he is a belly baby. He is really good at self-soothing, as well.
On to my Ayden Jackson. In utero, he was quite temperamental. He was quick to kick and punch when there was pressure on his "side" of the womb. He was continuously kicking his brother in his head and always on the move. We had to chase him around on ultrasounds. He did not like me to lie on my right side (which was his) and made this known nightly! In the NICU, he continued to be temperamental. He was quick to let all the nurses know when he was wet, hungry, or just needing attention. He is one that loves to be awake and doesn't want to miss a second of life - he continues this today. At home, he loves to lie on his back and watch the butterflies and lights of his play mat. He has yet to vocalize when he is trying to talk to us, but he sure knows how to smile and has started to socially smile. He thinks he is hilarious and in the middle of the night one night after feeding, he began chuckling laughing in his sleep. Alan and I loved it. He has developed a best friend in the fan in our living room and barely looks away from it when he is in the vicinity. His Lolli has determined if he talks to it before her, he is in trouble. He has become quite the laid back child. He will let you lie him down to get something done (as long as it isn't when he is hungry). He isn't as good at self-soothing, but is learning to pretty well and he is not as in-love with his paci as his brother. He loves to cuddle, as well, but would much rather look at you then lie on your chest.
It is just amazing how quickly they grow and develop. We saw a newborn the other day and I noticed how big my boys really are. It is bittersweet! They both are in 0-3 month clothes and quickly growing out of them. They are past double their birth weights and seem to be gaining quickly towards triple. I am trying to slow down the time, but we all know that isn't possible. We are truly blessed by our Savior for these boys. They are such miracles and we are so grateful.
Twelve weeks….it's amazing how much changes in pregnancy and in the first twelve weeks of life. The miracle of God is seen in each of these scenarios. We are looking forward to the next twelve weeks and praying it doesn't go by too quickly but that our boys continue to stay healthy through it all.
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