I had decided I was going to breast feed, so we began pumping right away, this actually wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. The only set back was, I had no blood in my system which means not a lot of fluid, so it meant a harder time. By Friday my blood levels had decreased to a pretty low amount, and I was feeling quite crappy so my doctor decided a transfusion was needed. Friday night was spent receiving a transfusion and I was restricted to my room and unable to see the babies.
By Saturday morning, my blood levels were on the rise and my babies were visited. I was rounded on by the physician on call and she decided that my blood pressure was still questionable, so she wanted me to stay another night….I wasn't opposed to that!! By Sunday, my blood pressure had only increased but my blood levels had equaled out to a reasonable level. That morning, Zachary had apnea episodes and was being bagged and then several tests performed, so my emotions were everywhere. The doctor decided I needed to stay again, and I was not opposed. The more nights close to my babies, the better, especially with the day we had. By Monday, my blood pressure had risen even more, I was swollen like crazy, and I began having headaches. I was diagnosed with post-partum pre-eclampsia. At this point, I was started on Magnesium for 24 hours, which meant back to bed rest, catheters, and no food. This also meant that for 24 hours, I would not be able to visit my babies. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to go through, especially after the day before.
I had purposefully forgotten what it was like to be on Magnesium, and I hopefully will purposefully forget, again! By the end of my 24 hours, I told Mom and Alan that I was ready to not be Jesus to people. It was awful. Along with the Magnesium, I was on blood pressure medication, which I ended up being allergic to. My blood pressures had not really gone down any at that point. By Wednesday morning, my doctor decided that I was done with complications. She literally came in and said "IVF, twin pregnancy, gestational diabetes, preterm labor, bed rest, cholestasis, premature rupture of membranes, premie babies with c-section, transfusion, and now postpartum pre-eclampsia. My discharge summary is long enough!" I was started on a new blood pressure medication which seemed to help moreso than the previous. By Thursday, my blood pressure had decreased enough for me to be discharged home. Another hard day. No mom wants to go home without her precious bundles of joy.
Sorry for the long post of my health problems, but its part of my journey. It hasn't been the easiest road. I think the hardest part of my time in the hospital was not having my babies by my bedside, like so many "normal" pregnancies/births have. It wasn't that I got to hold them and feed them and take them home with me. I was told an hour I could see them and I might get to touch them for 2 minutes, but that was it. I wasn't able to hold them when they cried or even just to connect. I wasn't even able to feed them. t cried many times in that hospital bed to Alan because I didn't feel like a "Mom" yet, these babies didn't feel like mine but me visiting someone else's. I didn't know what to do and it made me horribly upset and like a bad person. What kind of mother doesn't feel connected to her children immediately? It has been a big struggle. And the superimposed health problems have not helped with this. But, it is part of my journey and God has a plan and a testimony for it all. I have spent a lot of time in prayer and know He has a plan in this all, like He has had from the beginning.
I'll post about being a NICU mom when I get a chance, for now, I am going to work on my hour of sleep and rest before up to pump! Thank you all for the prayers through all of this.
By Saturday morning, my blood levels were on the rise and my babies were visited. I was rounded on by the physician on call and she decided that my blood pressure was still questionable, so she wanted me to stay another night….I wasn't opposed to that!! By Sunday, my blood pressure had only increased but my blood levels had equaled out to a reasonable level. That morning, Zachary had apnea episodes and was being bagged and then several tests performed, so my emotions were everywhere. The doctor decided I needed to stay again, and I was not opposed. The more nights close to my babies, the better, especially with the day we had. By Monday, my blood pressure had risen even more, I was swollen like crazy, and I began having headaches. I was diagnosed with post-partum pre-eclampsia. At this point, I was started on Magnesium for 24 hours, which meant back to bed rest, catheters, and no food. This also meant that for 24 hours, I would not be able to visit my babies. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to go through, especially after the day before.
I had purposefully forgotten what it was like to be on Magnesium, and I hopefully will purposefully forget, again! By the end of my 24 hours, I told Mom and Alan that I was ready to not be Jesus to people. It was awful. Along with the Magnesium, I was on blood pressure medication, which I ended up being allergic to. My blood pressures had not really gone down any at that point. By Wednesday morning, my doctor decided that I was done with complications. She literally came in and said "IVF, twin pregnancy, gestational diabetes, preterm labor, bed rest, cholestasis, premature rupture of membranes, premie babies with c-section, transfusion, and now postpartum pre-eclampsia. My discharge summary is long enough!" I was started on a new blood pressure medication which seemed to help moreso than the previous. By Thursday, my blood pressure had decreased enough for me to be discharged home. Another hard day. No mom wants to go home without her precious bundles of joy.
Sorry for the long post of my health problems, but its part of my journey. It hasn't been the easiest road. I think the hardest part of my time in the hospital was not having my babies by my bedside, like so many "normal" pregnancies/births have. It wasn't that I got to hold them and feed them and take them home with me. I was told an hour I could see them and I might get to touch them for 2 minutes, but that was it. I wasn't able to hold them when they cried or even just to connect. I wasn't even able to feed them. t cried many times in that hospital bed to Alan because I didn't feel like a "Mom" yet, these babies didn't feel like mine but me visiting someone else's. I didn't know what to do and it made me horribly upset and like a bad person. What kind of mother doesn't feel connected to her children immediately? It has been a big struggle. And the superimposed health problems have not helped with this. But, it is part of my journey and God has a plan and a testimony for it all. I have spent a lot of time in prayer and know He has a plan in this all, like He has had from the beginning.
I'll post about being a NICU mom when I get a chance, for now, I am going to work on my hour of sleep and rest before up to pump! Thank you all for the prayers through all of this.
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