It is hard to believe that the boys will be 8 weeks old tomorrow and we have been home almost 4 weeks! Time has flown by and the NICU almost seems like a distant memory. The boys are doing great and we met their due date with two healthy weight kiddos!
Transition has gone pretty smoothly, though we all have our moments! Like I've said before, the NICU schedule is a blessing because the boys have been on a consistent 3 - 4 hour schedule since being home. There have been some quicker feedings, but I think they were going through a growth spurt! Alan was able to stay home with us for the first two weeks which was wonderful! We really got bonding time in with the boys and got to "gel" as a family. My mom and Alan's dad have been amazing in helping, as well, and have helped while Alan has gone back to work. We couldn't do it without them!
The boys have had biweekly visits with their pediatrician to keep tabs on everything. They have grown like champs! They have gained almost 4 pounds a piece since leaving the hospital (which means they are taken off their specialty high calorie formula twice a day!). This past week, they had blood work to check their iron, which was a little low, so we were put on a regular calorie formula with iron and an extra vitamin. If that is all we have to do, we are happy! But it does mean they have to go back in 3 weeks and get pricked again for labs. I feel like a bad mom because I don't cry or get upset when they have to be pricked.
And on that note….life is definitely different then what I ever imagined being a mom. It kind of scares me. I imagined feeling differently then I do and immediate bonding. I have gone into not feeling like I got to really bond with the babies while in the NICU on an earlier post. I figured once we had them home, the bonding would be immediate. I have to say that that was a hard pill to swallow when they came home and I didn't feel that instant connection. They are my babies, no doubt. And I love them with all that I am. But, something just hasn't felt normal. I cried every day over this. I worried sick over having to return to work without fully bonding and connecting with my children. They are such WONDERFUL babies and yet they still didn't feel like mine. Alan hurt when they hurt, was able to console them with ease, makes bottles and cleaned for them. I told him on multiple occasions how horrible I felt because I did not hurt when they hurt. I cried to my doctor about all of this and we discussed it. She said she expected me to have some difficulties like this especially since all three of us had been through so much, and this made me feel a little better. Then I got to have a discussion with my doctor and he and I agreed I would come back part time in January! Relief and definitely has brought down my level of anxiety and strain to connect quickly with the boys. So, things are getting better and my connection with the babies is getting stronger. It just goes to show you that not everything is cookie cutter and immediate as many expect. I have enjoyed every minute home with these boys and they are such a blessing.
So, back to the boys. They are now weighing a hefty 9 lbs 7 oz and 8 lbs 3 oz for their due date. Just like newborn babies! Ayden is still awake more than Zachary. They both like to stay awake after their morning feeding until lunch, then it is hit or miss after that on when they wake up for a long stretch. Ayden has surprisingly become quite laid back and Zach has become the feisty one! He has learned what a temper tantrum is and likes to throw them! Both boys let us know when they are hungry and it quickly becomes dramatic (eating of their own arms is quite a sad feat!). It is fun to watch their personalities come out.
I am continually learning to be a mom to twins and I am loving it. They are quite messes but have every single person they meet wrapped around their finger. I hate to admit that they are already quite spoiled. We are so blessed and are excited to continue watching them grow.
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